Ben Cartwright has been a passionate advocate for gay rights for 12 years. He is a regular at gay pride marches, has a pod-cast and writes for a gay newspaper in San Diego.
The last thing he expected was to have to put a part of himself back into the closet. But if the military were to find out about his love for a sailor, a man with years of honorable service would face a dishonorable discharge.
For The Record
Los Angeles Times Friday, July 24, 2009 Home Edition Main News Part A Page 4 National Desk 3 inches; 106 words Type of Material: Correction
'Silent Partners': An article in Saturday's Section A about the film "Silent Partners" said that a sailor with years of honorable service would face a dishonorable discharge if the military were to find out about his relationship with a civilian of the same sex. Service members can receive a dishonorable discharge if they are prosecuted for sodomy or related offenses under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. But in most cases, gay conduct is handled as a violation of the "don't ask don't tell" rule, which is an administrative process and can only result in an honorable, general under honorable conditions or other than honorable discharge.
One of the rarely discussed effects of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" rule is the burden it places on the civilian partners of gay and lesbian service members. When their loved ones go to war, they do not have access to any of the counseling, financial assistance or support networks offered to heterosexual spouses. And if their loved ones die, no one will come knocking at their doors to notify them.
On Thursday, gay veterans and their partners shared their experiences at the local premiere of "Silent Partners," a 30-minute documentary offering a glimpse into the lives of three gay "military spouses" waiting for their partners to come home.
"This film, I believe, is telling a story we haven't heard before," said Lt. Daniel Choi, who introduced the film.
Choi, a West Point graduate and Iraq veteran, received a discharge notice from the Army after he announced he was gay on "The Rachel Maddow Show" on MSNBC in March.
"We can really see the destructive effects of 'don't ask, don't tell' . . . when you see the pain that these spouses and partners go through," he said.
In the film, Cartwright demonstrates what he must do to ensure their home is "de-gayed" every time unit members go there to pick up his partner for deployment. Framed photographs of the couple, posters and certificates are swept into overflowing cupboards.
"And then I, of course, disappear," he says. "I'm not here."
"Silent Partners" is being launched as gay rights advocates are pressing President Obama to make good on a campaign promise to repeal the rule that bars an estimated 65,000 service members from disclosing their sexual orientation. About 13,000 men and women have been discharged from the armed forces because of their sexual orientation since "don't ask, don't tell" took effect in 1994.
Top brass has generally been cool to repealing the rule, saying it would damage unit cohesion and put national security at risk. Although a May report by UC Santa Barbara's Palm Center think tank said the president could use his executive authority to stop the military from discharging gay personnel, the administration is looking to Congress to provide a more durable fix.
