"I know many victims who try to work it out by getting into serial relationships," said Sister Sheila McNiff, and it appeared to her that Setterholm had done precisely that, digging herself in deeper all the while.
McNiff was the victim assistance coordinator for the Los Angeles Archdiocese, serving under Mahony as the church began dealing with its scandalous history. She first heard from Setterholm in 2002, when the surf queen called to tell of the abuse she'd suffered 30 years prior.
"I asked her, 'Where can I meet you?' " McNiff recalled. "She said, 'At the beach.' "
It wasn't long before nun and surfer had formed a mutual admiration society. Setterholm wasn't looking for a financial settlement with the institution that had betrayed her. She wanted to finally look into the eyes of church leaders, tell them what she'd been through, and pray that she'd be healed.
"She had a very strong sense of trying to be a reconciler," said McNiff, who worked with Setterholm to arrange "apology" Masses for victims.
McNiff also helped arrange a meeting with Mahony at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, and Setterholm had a lot to tell the good cardinal.
That he needed to do less moralizing and more listening.
That many victims can't feel safe again in a church.
That it was difficult for her to face him, but impossible to survive without doing so.
"She told him her story and the cardinal apologized," said McNiff, who was in tears and could see that the cardinal was deeply moved as well.
Setterholm volunteered to pass a message from the cardinal to other victims.
"Tell them it is not their fault," she recalls him saying.
Setterholm held hands with the cardinal and prayed with him.
And, as a gesture of reconciliation, she gave him one of her most prized possessions.
The trophy from her surfing championship.
"He said he would keep it on his desk," McNiff recalled.
(The cardinal was out of town last week and did not answer my interview request).
Setterholm has become something of a missionary since that encounter, reaching out to working women and street dwellers and bringing some of them into her own home in Hermosa Beach. With McNiff and Hayman serving as mentors, she formed Serenity Sisters, a support group to help recovering prostitutes. And she runs Surf Bus, a program that brings hundreds of inner-city children to the beach each summer to learn how to surf.
