Terrell Owens knows melodrama and controversy, but does he know comedy?
The new Comedy Central series "Tosh.O" last week featured a video clip of Owens taking his place behind the mike at a fake news conference, where Owens said, "It's going to be a busy season; I figure I better get all my future apologies out of the way now.
"I'd like to apologize to my teammates and the coach for my excessive celebrations. I guess I'm the only one who gets excited.
"I would like to apologize for the 'Joe Buck Show.' Someone needs to apologize for that show.
"I'm sorry to ESPN 'SportsCenter' for dominating your highlights all the time. I know I am really awesome and make awesome plays, but in the interest of fairness, you got to show other people.
"I'm sorry about Windows Vista. It's not the operating system I thought it would be.
"I apologize for the stock market, for the housing market and the cash-only policy at most farmers markets."
Interestingly, Owens did not apologize for his apologies, which were not as funny as the concept of Owens actually being happy in snowbound, playoff-deprived Buffalo.
Who said, "Playing in the NFL is 10% mental and 90% Hollywood"?
They're No. 2
The San Francisco Giants have been down for so long, second place sounds like heaven to at least one prominent member of the team.
"There's a lot of season left, but as good as the Dodgers are playing right now and if you look at what wild-card teams have done in the past -- some have won the World Series -- the important thing is just to get to the playoffs," Giants pitcher Randy Johnson said.
"Considering the struggles of this organization in recent years [four consecutive losing seasons], if you're getting in via the wild card, it would be pretty exciting for the team, the ownership and the fans. You get there however you get there. Then every playoff team starts from scratch."
Worth noting: The Giants and Dodgers both have more than 80 games left on their schedules.
Conan O'Brien, on the Clippers' drafting forward Blake Griffin: "The Los Angeles Clippers had the No. 1 pick in today's NBA draft and they selected last year's college player of the year, Blake Griffin. Griffin said he's dreamed about playing professional basketball his entire life, but he's also fine with playing for the Clippers."
Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on signs that auto industry cutbacks are putting a crimp in NASCAR: "Mark Martin won last week's race in Michigan driving a Hertz rental car."