You geniuses came perilously close to trashing this spring's treasure of a series between Boston and Chicago, after Rajon Rondo got tangled up with Kirk Hinrich in Game 6, and slung him by the arm into the scorer's table.
Chicago Coach Vinny Del Negro campaigned for Rondo to be suspended. Stu probably ran the video so many times, he still sees it frame by frame in his sleep.
For a change, no one was suspended and the fans got to see both teams on even terms in Game 7.
Lucky us.
I know how close we came. One New York Times editorial beforehand questioning your evenhandedness, or suggesting you would cater to TV, and Rondo would have been gonzo.
That's what the playoffs are now: Skirmish, pregnant pause for league review while the opposing coach says this crime against humanity demands a suspension, followed by . . . drumroll . . . the decision!
Where amazing happens . . . at least with the players we have left.
Without any fights this spring, you've already suspended Fisher, Dwight Howard, Rafer Alston and Udonis Haslem, and the second round just started.
Have you legal eagles noticed that you keep defining the crimes down?
First it was fighting. Then a two-handed shove was a fight. Then you could get suspended for taking one step off the bench if two players were just upset with each other -- as Stoudemire was, after Robert Horry's hard foul on Steve Nash.
I was completely behind you when you started this in the '90s, when Detroit's Bad Boys tried to put Michael Jordan on his back every time he drove, putting in the flagrant foul rules that ensured it would be a game of artistry, rather than one in which artists were hunted like deer.
Now Bryant hitting Artest with a one-inch elbow as they wrestle for position under the hoop is a flagrant foul?
With that as a standard, you would have suspended Kevin McHale for life for clotheslining Kurt Rambis in the 1984 Finals if you had been commissioner.
Oh, I forgot, you were commissioner. McHale got a personal foul, but no technical, no fine and no suspension.
I miss those days. No, I'm serious. I'll bet even Rambis misses those days.
That was a great series, with the Celtics avoiding being swept by coming from behind in the last minute of Games 2 and 4, and going on to beat the Lakers, 4-3.
Of course, it may get even better. If you keep suspending people for your biggest games, our memories will be all that's left for us.
Extra-legally yours,
Mark Heisler
--
mark.heisler@latimes.com
