The staff at Promises, the Malibu rehab center known for its luxurious accommodations and Hollywood clientele, is well versed in the perils of cocaine, methamphetamines, alcohol and prescription drugs, but these days, the tony facility finds itself bedeviled by a different toxic substance: snark.
Thanks to relapsing starlets and rehab stays that seem more public relations strategy than medical decision, many who read the tabloids have come to regard celebrity rehab as a joke, and Promises, with its $54,500-a-month price tag and roster of famous and not-always-sober alumni, makes an easy punch line.
Promises is routinely skewered by gossip bloggers and comedians -- Jay Leno never seems to tire of zinging the addiction center. In a recent "Tonight Show" bit about a terrorism detainee who rejoined Al Qaeda after his release, Leno told his audience, "Apparently, Guantanamo Bay has the same success rate as the Promises Rehab Center in Malibu."
On the center's carefully manicured grounds, no one is laughing. Promises' CEO insists bookings have remained strong in the face of the potshots and an ongoing state investigation into whether it provided medical care without a license. But the facility recently launched a public relations campaign emphasizing the seriousness of its program. The effort included inviting reporters to tour its normally ultra-private property on the condition that they not identify or speak with clients staying there.
"This is not a celebrity flophouse," said publicist Jonathan Franks, who himself got sober at Promises, as he stood in the living room of one of four residences on a picturesque hill above the Pacific. "There is just a disconnect between the way people perceive this place and the way it is."
In some ways, Promises has only its clients to blame. Two of Hollywood's biggest media magnets -- Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan -- chose Promises to get sober, but as was well documented by packs of paparazzi, their problems outlasted Promises. Lohan later went to a Utah facility and her troubles remain a staple of the checkout-aisle racks. Spears continued in free fall until a court gave her father control of her affairs.
Celebrity clientele
Their experiences fed into a public cynicism that veteran publicist Howard Bragman, the author of "Where's My Fifteen Minutes?," said was rooted in a fact of life in Hollywood.
