VW Routan: Mediocre, barely

Even by the dire standards of the current market, the new VW Routan minivan appears to be nailed to the showroom floor. A warmed-over version of the Chrysler Town & Country/Dodge Caravan, the Routan had chalked up a meager 5,582 sales as of April 20, according to Automotive News, and Routan production at Chrysler's Windsor, Canada, facility is now on indefinite hiatus, in roughly the same way that John DeLorean is taking a sabbatical from breathing.

I am sure that Volkswagen execs smarter than I, in suits shinier than mine, can explain why the company needed a painfully derivative version of a merely adequate product in a segment buyers were fleeing like a burning theater, a product that has less than zero to do with the VW brand. But I am stumped. Obviously, VW wanted a seven-passenger vehicle in its showrooms, and re-badging the Chrysler/Dodge -- the perennial segment sales leader -- was vastly cheaper than building a people-mover on its own.

But the Routan is such a shallow and insincere badge job -- so screamingly a Chrysler T&C, right down to the slack, wobbly feel in the gearshift, so lacking in the wit and nuance that has made recent VWs such a kick -- that it almost seems like corporate sabotage.

And here's the worst part: The one signature move for the T&C, its ace in the hole, so to speak, was the second-row Stow 'n Go seating, which allowed the mid-row seats to disappear under a flat cargo floor. Obviously as the result of some negotiated exclusivity, the Stow 'n Go feature is not available on the VW. Ditto the swiveling mid-row captain's chairs.

So, with all respect and deep affection for VW, I have to ask: Why the heck would I buy a Routan?

Yet the Routan has lessons to teach us. Consider that, in punditry about the rapidly consolidating car business, it's generally assumed that the remaining pan-national automakers -- for example, a Fiat-Chrysler-Opel-Saab conglomerate -- would build better cars for all, because these companies could leverage their best products and engineering in multiple global markets.

Not necessarily. Such far-flung, culture-clashed, debt-ridden mega-automakers could just as easily wind up making mediocrity the global standard -- and with less competition in the market, they'd have more incentive to do so. In this respect, the Routan seems like a preview of coming attractions.