VW Routan: Mediocre, barely

Lesson two: Back in the days when the travails of the auto business weren't front-page news, consumers were far less informed about the back-of-the-house operations of the car business, the interlocking alliances and platform sharing that, for instance, made a GM a Suzuki or Toyota or Opel, depending on the car. Today it's hard to imagine any customer walking into the VW showroom blissfully unaware that the Routan is a re-badged product of the bankrupted Chrysler. Back away slowly, slowly. . . .

Lesson three: Know thy brand, again. The VW van -- whether you're talking Eurovan, Microbus, Vanagon, Westfalia, Multivan, splitty, Kombi -- is an indelible part of world automotive culture. For the few thousand seven-passenger minivan sales VW hoped to conquest with the indifferent and indistinct Routan, the company has forsaken this proud and cool brand equity. A bad bargain, that.

Why the company has not yet seen fit to revive the VW Microbus in a posh, postmodern way, as it has the New Beetle, simply eludes me. If I could buy a T5-chassis Microbus with diesel engine and a Westy camping package in the U.S., I'd even trade in my beloved Honda Odyssey.

So while the Routan is just sitting here on the showroom floor, not going anywhere, let's take a look around. The major cosmetic differences include revised headlamps and taillamps, a different front fascia and a VW corporate grille. In profile, only an expert could discern the VW from its Pentastar clone.

Inside, the differences are more pronounced though just as cosmetic. The Routan gets an upgrade in dash and door materials and the seats are more fully bolstered. The Chrysler gauges are swapped in favor of white-faced units with Teutonic lettering. The center console gets a swash of Deutsch-ified switches and control fascia, but the center console is essentially the same as the Chrysler's, including the optional audio and DVD navigation system, the MyGig. The Stow 'n Go feature is standard on the third-row seats.

VW claims to have retuned the Routan's suspension to be more sporty and affirmative. Notwithstanding the pointlessness of that exercise, the Routan still feels plenty pillowy and soft. In hard cornering the body lolls like a tongue out of a sleeping drunkard's mouth. And I must say the test model I drove did not feel as well constructed as the last T&C I drove. Indeed, with the various tiny, shivering bits throughout the cabin, I began to suspect the Routan was not getting the last full measure of devotion from the folks in Windsor.