If a one-eyed gypsy with very bad teeth asks you for anything, and really, I cannot emphasize this enough, say yes. Don't waver, don't bargain; anything short of yes could put you on a fast track to damnation as surely as a broken mirror will bring you seven years of bad luck.
Look at what happens to Christine, a very good egg boiled to perfection by circumstance and a lot of good work by Alison Lohman. One bad decision and suddenly director Sam Raimi throws her under the bus of his terrific new horror film, "Drag Me to Hell."
If you've been worried that Raimi's decade spent spinning the "Spider-Man" web might have caused him to go soft, well stop. The director who gave us the "Evil Dead" trilogy is back with a vengeance that rivals the one-eyed gypsy I warned you about.
With that fire in his belly, Raimi's "Drag Me to Hell" does everything we want a horror film to do: It is fearsomely scary, wickedly funny and diabolically gross, three stomach-churning states that argue for taking a pass on the $10 box of popcorn. Which also makes the movie an excellent economic investment in these tough times.
I mention the economy because Raimi has made it an issue at the heart of "Drag Me to Hell," in the spirit of campy cultural commentary that good horror can do so well. The director and his brother Ivan began the script 10 years ago before Peter Parker's many tribulations in Spidey tights sidelined it. If the Raimis really are as prescient as "Drag Me" would suggest, I'd like to put in a good word for them to be added to the Obama economic recovery team.
You see, Christine is a lending agent at a bank and ambition has made her desperate for a promotion. The gypsy is old Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver), who just wants a little of the candy on Christine's desk and another extension on her home loan. Sounds reasonable to me. And it did to Christine too until her boss (David Paymer) hints that if she is serious about that promotion . . .
So good, decent Christine goes against her better judgment and denies Mrs. Ganush's request. Bad choice, Christine. Before she can begin what will be a long string of "I'm sorrys," that become "How dare yous," there's a curse on her head and the nightmare begins. Not too many scenes later you may find yourself wondering if the title was meant to refer to Christine or the rest of us.
