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Beau needs a wake-up call

November 19, 2009

Dear Amy: I have been living with my paramour for almost three years. We are both in our 50s. He is still married, despite a lengthy legal separation. He often says it is "time to do something" about that, but that is as far as it goes.

I want more than just a roommate, plus, if something happens to him, I'm stuck financially.

I love him dearly, and he says he loves me too. But I find myself wondering -- am I all alone in this relationship? How do I broach this without sounding needy and greedy?

Need to Know

Dear Need: The best time to broach this would have been before you moved in together.

Raising this issue now makes you sound like someone who made an error and needs to make some changes.

You should take steps to untangle your finances, look for an affordable place to live and tell your guy to get in touch when he's no longer married.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.

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