When she wanted to write up the violation, her supervisor urged her not to do so, saying that he "knew things about me he shouldn't know." She did not file the report.
Pentagon figures released Friday indicate 10,507 men and women have been discharged from the military under "don't ask, don't tell" in the 12 years ending in 2008. Defense Department spokeswoman Cynthia Smith declined to release the number let go under Obama, saying it would be available next spring.
Army 1st Lt. Daniel Choi, a 28-year-old West Point graduate who is gay, served in Iraq and now faces discharge from the National Guard because he has come out about his sexual orientation. He said he liked Obama's promises but wanted the rhetoric met by results.
"Whether it saves my career or not is not the issue," said Choi, who lives in New York. He finds it ironic that hundreds of service members still are being investigated and booted out just as Obama weighs sending more troops to Afghanistan.
Choi wore his Army dress uniform and was accompanied to the banquet by a date, Matthew Kinsey. They kissed time and again at the behest of dinner guests with cameras.
To many gay rights activists, Obama has sent mixed signals since he took office.
Activists were rankled when the conservative Rev. Rick Warren, a high-profile backer of Proposition 8 and founder of Orange County's Saddleback Church, gave the invocation at Obama's inauguration.
Eight months later, the president has gotten good marks for appointing gays and lesbians to administration posts, such as John Berry, director of the U.S. Office of Personnel Management; Nancy Sutley, chairwoman of the White House Council on Environmental Quality; and Fred Hochberg, president of the Export-Import Bank.
On Thursday the House passed a bill that would broaden the federal hate-crime law to cover violence against gays. The measure is expected to go before the Senate within days.
Obama noted Saturday that the bill was named after Matthew Shepard, the gay college student whose killing in Wyoming in 1998 galvanized the gay rights movement. "This bill will pass, and I will sign it into law," the president said to more cheers. His predecessor, President Bush, had threatened to veto the measure.
Peter Nicholas of the Washington bureau contributed to this report.