Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien crack wise about NBC's late-night shuffling

Conan O'Brien, monologue from "The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien" * "This weekend no one was seriously hurt, but a 6.5 earthquake hit California. The earthquake was so powerful that it knocked Jay Leno's show from 10 o'clock to 11:35."

TUESDAY

Leno * "As I'm sure you know, NBC announced they are pulling the plug on this show Feb. 12. Here's the amazing part: That is the exact date that the Mayan calendar predicted we would go off the air."

O'Brien * "When I was a little boy, I remember watching "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" and thinking "Someday, I'm going to host that show for seven months."

WEDNESDAY

Leno * "Good news from Afghanistan -- critics of the war have stopped referring to it as 'another Vietnam.' They are not calling it that anymore. The bad news -- they're now calling it 'another NBC.' "

O'Brien * "Hosting 'The Tonight Show' has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me -- and I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too."

THURSDAY

Leno * "Welcome to the new show 'I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Off NBC!' "

O'Brien * "There's a rumor that NBC is so upset with me, they want to keep me off the air for three years. My response to that is, if NBC doesn't want people to see me, just leave me on NBC."

FRIDAY

Leno * "Are you excited about the winter Olympics next month in Vancouver? If you can't wait until next month, stay on this channel between 10:00 and midnight and you will see NBC's coverage of 'Two Hosts Skating on Thin Ice.' "

O'Brien * "In the press this week, NBC has been calling me every name in the book. In fact, they think I'm such an idiot they now want me to run the network."