Say it ain't so, Clueless Joe.
In Wednesday morning's report on the Dodgers' loss to the Giants, Joe Blanton said he threw the ball well.
That's what is important, of course, Clueless Joe feeling really good about his own work while the Dodgers lose.
"I felt it was the best I've thrown since I've been here," he says. But if that's all he's got, warm up the bullpen.
He was so bad, Dodgers fans were booing him in the first inning. It was a huge game against the anemic-hitting Giants, and the fans let Blanton know they weren't pleased.
But he wasn't impressed.
"I've played in Philly," he told reporters. "That's nothing."
I'm sure Dodgers fans welcome the challenge.
I RECEIVED an e-mail from Anne:
"I was a huge fan of Tom Lasorda and with much respect until July 14, 2012. I paid thousands to have The Ultimate Dodger Experience with three companions: dinner in the Dugout Club, second-row seating in the owner's box, a meet-and-greet with Fernando.
"In the second inning we were taken to the Press Box; Fernando was a real gentleman. We went back to the owner's box; four men were in our seats. An usher told them to leave. Then I headed to our seats followed by someone who has had back, hip and knee surgery, proceeding slowly but making good progress.
"Lasorda, in the third row, yells, 'Lady, you have to sit down. LADY, YOU HAVE TO SIT DOWN. Dammit!' "
Well, lady, you do.
I LIKE to laugh, so I hope that explains my continued interest in UCLA football.
I also look forward to UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero's uproarious weekly newsletters.
This week Guerrero really cracks funny: "When he was hired, Coach Jim Mora made a promise to the Bruin Family to instill a firm sense of accountability from the UCLA Football program, and stressed to his players that they need to be accountable to themselves, the staff, the University, and to the donors who support their program.
"Just as he is holding his team accountable, in return, Coach Mora is relying on generous donors to be accountable to the football student-athletes as they represent UCLA on and off the field."
I'm not exactly sure how Coach Mora is holding his team accountable beyond the fact he expects them to practice if they want to play. I'm guessing most coaches do that.
We really don't know much about Mora yet, other than he swears a lot and some people think that makes for a great coach. How quickly they have forgotten John Wooden at UCLA.
Mora also talks tough, and so we're led to believe UCLA will be a lot tougher and maybe not cry when they lose.
But is this the time to give him money?
Is there ever a good time to give money to a football team when funds are needed for cancer research, kids suffering and dying, and so many other worthy causes beyond better practice goal posts?
"The Then Now Forever Fund was created to provide additional financial support for the UCLA Football program," writes Guerrero. "By supporting this fund, necessary resources can be provided to attain the level of success all Bruins want to see for the players."
I'd like to meet the gullible Bruins fan who believes the school can buy a national championship. I worry now a line might be forming outside the paper.
In Guerrero's newsletter, fans are instructed to go to a website and read what Mora has to say.
"One of my first promises to the Bruin Family when I was hired as UCLA's head football coach was to return a firm sense of accountability to the UCLA Football program," writes Mora, and I wonder if UCLA has hired someone to write down what Mora and Guerrero should say rather than allowing them to talk on their own.
"Quite simply, we need your help in order to provide our student-athletes with the resources needed to attain the level of success we all desire," writes Mora.
Do you really think that's the recruiting pitch he makes to parents? Listen, if we can get our alums to fork over some dough, then we might be able to make things work for your son. Otherwise…
AS FOR the USC cheaters who are coming off probation, I love this paragraph in Gary Klein's story about the new John McKay Center.
"During a tour of the finished structure, an athletic department official said the offices were off limits because of 'recruiting sensitivities.' ''
Did they forget to put away the beer?
I HAD lunch with one of the area's all-time great sports columnists, Doug Krikorian, who wrote for the Herald Examiner and Long Beach Press-Telegram.
Just loved the picture he has of Georgia Frontiere and himself, prompting the obvious question: Was Doug one of Georgia's husbands?
No, he says, but she did sign the picture: "To Doug, the best is yet to come, love Georgia." I'm guessing she was thinking St. Louis.
Doug is now retired and a member of the Long Beach Yacht Club. The club apparently does not exclude anyone.