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Does the Dodgers' Ned Colletti need to get his Marvin Gaye on?

December 20, 2012|By Steve Dilbeck
  • Ned Colletti's full head of hair apparently didn't help him in Yahoo Sports' David Brown's rankings.
Ned Colletti's full head of hair apparently didn't help him… (Wally Skalij / Los Angeles…)

Poor Ned Colletti. Seems he’s not too sexy for his shirt or cowboy boots.

What has it come to for general managers these days, when they’re not only critiqued on that last free agent signing but also on if they turn heads when they enter a room?

Alas, inspired by shortstop Hiroyuki Nakajima’s recent comment that A’s General Manager Billy Beane was “extremely sexy,” Yahoo Sports’ David Brown felt inspired enough to rank all 30 GMs on their sex appeal. It’s the slow season in baseball.

On the hot-o-meter our very own Ned Colletti … came in dead last.

Say what?

There is neither rhyme nor reason given for the rankings, and maybe Brown hasn’t seen Colletti sporting that cutting-edge goatee lately. But dead last? Don’t you get bonus points for just being GM of the Dodgers?

I’ve known Colletti for a number of years, and though not exactly an expert on sexual appeal of men, I was aghast that he was deemed to have been so lacking in pheromones. Me and Mrs. Colletti.

The only comment left after this absurd ranking – by the way, you will notice the extremely sexy blogger Colletti is talking to in the photo accompanying Brown's story – is: “Pure. Hollywood. Lust.”

I’m not sure what that means, either. And I can’t claim to personally know all 30 GMs, but based on their  photos, I’m having a hard time thinking our boy Colletti is ranked 10 spots below Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik, who even Brown said resembles ex-Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, though I’m more partial to would-be Dodgers owner Steven Cohen.

Just in case, in an effort to help our boy Colletti earn his share of lustful oohs from supermodels, I’m providing him these links to increasing sex appeal. One is to the online magazine AskMen (one suggestion is to work on dance moves, and I'm pretty sure they do not mean line dancing) and the other is wikiHow (No.4, accept rejection gracefully, even from free agents).

Otherwise, I hope our boy Colletti doesn’t take this latest affront too personally. I mean, Beane came in only second and he’s been portrayed in the movies by Brad Pitt. Which leaves George Clooney available to be  Colletti.


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