Let Tony Lopez's passing stand as a call for doctors to be more up front in laying out the hard realities of medical limitations. And let it stand as a call for families to share their own attitudes with each other as to how much compromise is acceptable. Too many people are hanging on against their own wishes, only because they didn't make their feelings known in advance healthcare directives and other forms (which anyone can get from the Coalition for Compassionate Care of California, coalitionccc.org).
In his final days, my father was treated with grace and dignity by nurses and aides who grew up in Nigeria and Tonga, among other places, and they served our family and a noble profession well. And if my mother and sister were nuns, they would surely pass beatification and go directly to sainthood for the way they loved and cared for my father.
My heartfelt thanks, as well, to readers who have checked in by the hundreds with their own stories and words of support.
You had a heck of a good run.