The simplest way for New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg to ban large sugary drinks is to petition Congress to put them on Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act, along with marijuana. That way the sugary drink will be classified as having no medicinal value and he can expand his anti-obesity program nationwide by using the Drug Enforcement Administration.
Federal asset seizure laws could also be used to grab restaurant rental properties, fountain equipment, industry bank accounts, delivery trucks and even the passenger vehicles that big cup pushers drive to work.
The downside is that the cartels will take over the new black market. But the government will be protecting us from ourselves. That's its job, right?