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The Sunday Conversation: Dan Bucatinsky

The producer of 'Web Therapy' is a happy, hard-working gay dad who's written a book on the topic, 'Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?' So, what's the answer?

June 17, 2012|By Irene Lacher, Los Angeles Times

I thought you were a little dismissive of mother hunger. My few female friends who grew up without a mother say they really missed having one, and I think having a woman in the home per se is part of it. Do you think there's a difference between losing a mother to happenstance and deliberately forming a family without one?

I do think there's a difference. If the only family you've ever known is the family you have, which is two parents of whatever gender, I don't believe that would mean you wouldn't have mother hunger. I'm sure my kids will. There's something about watching their friends call out for mommy and what it would feel like to be hugged by someone with breasts and a different kind of body and skin. I think the loss of a parent after you had that experience would be different than if you'd never known it. But there are a lot of women in my daughter and my son's life and quite deliberately — a lot of aunts and we have child-care help, a nanny who has been involved in their life since birth, so there is that feeling with their aunts and grandma and their nanny that I'm hoping balances it out a little bit.

Once or twice Eliza said something about a mommy. And I love my kids so, so profoundly that I actually felt a little sad that there was one thing I couldn't provide for them. Obviously there are a lot of things I can't provide for them, but that was one that feels really deep and my heart breaks for them a little bit about it. And at the same time, I know they're growing up in a home where they're so deeply valued and listened to and respected that I think they're going to be OK.

I thought what you wrote about having a presumably straight son was interesting.

There was a point when Jonah turned 2, 21/2, it was watching these personalities emerge. And there something kind of rough and tumble and — there's no better way to describe it — butch, coming out of this little 2-year-old who loved to play with balls and sticks and had a bit of a swagger when he walked. And it kind of took me back to a time when that kind of swagger, that kind of confidence, I associated with the kinds of guys who used to bully me. And I got filled with all these feelings like, wow, I wonder if my own son is going to intimidate me and I wonder if he's going to look at me differently. And I worked it through and I thought about how much I love my son and looked at the notion of unconditional love in a totally different way. It's an exciting challenge that is going to erase lines that I thought were deeply embedded in me.

So what's coming up the second season on "Web Therapy"?

The second season is not only chock-full of amazingly funny guest stars — including the first time David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow are on screen together since"Friends" — but also a really funny arc to the whole season of a political campaign that goes horribly wrong.

calendar@latimes.com

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