It’s Bad Sex Day on the Internet today.
Of course, every day is bad sex day on the Internet. But today's bad sex is actually enjoyable, and it arrives via the respected Literary Review of London and its Bad Sex in Fiction Award. Call it coitus ridiculous. It’s sex that’s so bad as to be laughable, in a delightfully literary kind of way.
Eight authors were named finalists for the Bad Sex in Fiction award Tuesday. All the buzz is that J.K. Rowling didn't make the cut. Rowling's "The Literary Vacancy" was a favorite to walk away with the award, in part for a passage in which a vulva and Santa Claus manage to squeeze themselves into the same sentence.
Instead the committee went back to at least one old favorite, nominating previous winner Tom Wolfe for his novel, "Back to Blood," which includes the crashing metaphors in this description of an allegedly aroused woman: "the flood in her loins washed morals, despair and all other abstract assessments away in a cloud of some sort of divine cologne of his."