Eric Hanson's illustration of what the property settlement session… (Eric Hanson / For The Times )
Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, take a lesson from Los Angeles. From the San Fernando Valley.
Don’t even think about seceding. You can’t afford it.
Ten years ago, the San Fernando Valley -- about half of the city’s area -- began a movement to secede from Los Angeles. But two-thirds of Angelenos voted not to let the Valley secede and become its own city. We're still together -- one big not-always-completely-happy family, but what family is?
There’s a lesson here.
Since President Obama’s reelection, online petitions on the White House website from disgruntled residents of almost every state are demanding that they be let out of the Union (150 years after the Old South tried the same thing and lost).
There are nearly 700,000 signatures, the bulk of them reported to be from a handful of states, including many of the original Dixie ones, where Republican governors have been metaphorically eye-rolling over it all. Louisiana’s Bobby Jindal called it “silly.” And West Virginia’s effort is touchingly ungrammatical: "we petition the Obama Administration to: Peacefully grant the State of West Virginia to Withdraw from the United States and Create it's own NEW Govern (sic)." Perhaps West Virginia can persuade some English teachers to leave the Union too.
When the San Fernando Valley wanted to break up with the city of L.A., it was much better positioned, financially and strategically, than these states, and it still didn't happen.
For one, it’s legal for Californians to secede from their old cities and counties and form new municipalities. It’s not legal for a state in the United States to do so. Hello, does "Civil War" ring a bell? Maybe West Virginia could also talk some history teachers into seceding along with it.
(Amusingly, others have used the White House website to file their own petitions asking that Americans who want to secede from America be stripped of their U.S. citizenship, as happened to the Confederacy’s president, Jefferson Davis. And a few hundred residents of Austin, Texas’ capital, have petitioned to ask to be allowed to secede from Texas and stay in the Union if the Lone Star State goes its own way. It’s a fine, droll story for the postelection political news vacuum, but one with deep and unsettlingly misguided sentiments.)
The White House website carries dozens of petitions begun by Americans, among them one to nationalize the Twinkie industry, another to create a national holiday honoring Michael Jackson, and another demanding that the Obama administration get rid of itself.
Even though at least one significant study at the time concluded the Valley could afford to go its own way, the Valley still had a complicated prenup with L.A. It would have been more like separating densely conjoined twins -- the tangle of water rights, the cost of re-creating its own bureaucracy, the price of paying off its share of pensions for the police and firefighters and city workers it was divorcing, and having to make out a check to the remaining city of Los Angeles for an annual palimony cost of as much as $68 million.
The Valley’s own grievances went back to conflicts over school integration and busing in the 1970s, and the feeling that, for all its size, the Valley was a neglected entity at City Hall, and didn’t get as much in city resources as it was paying for.
The last mayor from the Valley was Sam Yorty in the 1960s, but current mayoral candidate Wendy Greuel is from the Valley, and her fellow contender Eric Garcetti opened campaign headquarters in Studio City.
In the 18th century, the grievance of Colonial Americans before the Revolution was taxation without representation. These states all have representation. In Congress. In the Senate. In the White House. They’re just miffed, and sulking that things didn’t go entirely their way on Nov. 6, and they’re threatening to take their ball and go home.
Except it isn’t entirely their ball.
The states where many of these aggrieved Americans live arguably aren’t as financially well-positioned as the Valley. These are red states not just politically but economically. In their fiscal relationships with the federal government, they are taker-states -- part of the 47%.
Dollar for dollar, they get back more from the federal government than they put in in taxes. Alabama, $1.71 for every dollar it sends to D.C.; Louisiana, $1.45. And who are the 53%? The net donor states? Often, it’s blue states such as California; Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger complained throughout his years in Sacramento about California’s tax charity to its poorer sibling states, 79 cents back in federal aid for every $1 it sent to Washington. (Curiously, that’s the same 21-cent differential on the dollar that women have been earning to men’s dollar for the same work.)