In the spirit of trans fat and fake butter and imitation crab legs we offer you this week's simulated BCS standings, because waiting six more days for the "real" standings is the kind of torture no true college football fan should have to endure.
In truth, the internal rumblings of the BCS turbines are approaching levels of acceptable toxicity, as all but one of the six BCS computers is up and running.
Remarkably, the simulated standings, as offered by BCS Guru, pretty much mirror conventional wisdom and the two major polls.
The top five schools in the simulated BCS standings are Alabama, Oregon, South Carolina, West Virginia and Florida. The second five is Notre Dame, Kansas State, LSU, Oregon State and Georgia.
I only have a problem with Georgia still being in the top 10 after its 35-7 loss to South Carolina, but so be it. USC is No. 11 in the fake BCS, followed by Stanford and Oklahoma.