Randall Telfer, right, is congratulated by USC teammates Kevin Graf and… (Harry How / Getty Images )
What a rock-solid start for Rankman's preseason First Four, which outscored opponents 140-24 ... in the first half.
West Virginia's blistering of state rival Marshall led to an immediate reassessmentpromotion to the top five. The Mountaineers have scored 139 points in their last two games -- and one of those was a BCS bowl.
USC has more weapons than Rambo, and Oregon looks faster than the Jamaican track team. Nobody beyond that is giving us goose pimples, though.
Virginia Tech rents the last spot this week for overcoming Georgia Tech, in Blacksburg, in overtime. Michigan needs to beat Air Force at home to avoid doing the fireman's exit down the poll pole. Boise State has earned too much street cred to get poll jacked after a four-point loss at Michigan State.
1; USC 1-0; Don't look back because the Tide is rising and the NCAA is on your tail. (1)
2; Alabama 1-0; Saban upset it took two or three plays versus Michigan to work the summer camp kinks out. (2)
3; Oregon; 1-0; QB MARIO-tah encouraged to change name so that it rhymes with "Heisman." (3)
4; LSU 1-0; Dropped from No. 1 to No. 3 in coaches poll after discovery that the Tigers only beat North Texas. (4)
5; West Virginia 1-0; Concerns about the offense as team scores one less point than it did in Orange Bowl. (12)
6; Ohio State 1-0; Associate AD Audubon tells Meyer he can ban "tweets" for media but not for birds. (9)
7; Oklahoma 1-0; Stoops heard singing "Pancho and Lefty" as team escaped border at El Paso. (5)
8; Texas 1-0; The 12 true freshmen who played in opener have been dubbed "The Bevo Babies." (6).
9; Florida State 1-0; Rankman is Seminole sorry to learn of season-ending injury to star DE Brandon Jenkins. (11)
10; Arkansas 1-0; Nationwide Tour continues with Little Rock stop against Louisiana Monroe. (13)
11; South Carolina 1-0; Threw for 67 yards, 18 fewer than Oklahoma State had points against Savannah State. (10)
12; Georgia 1-0; Found running back -- Gurley -- against Buffalo. Now searching for a defense. (8).
13; Nebraska 1-0; UCLA fans can still purchase choice Rose Bowl seats via HuskerHub and SiloMaster. (14)
14; Michigan State 1-0; What John McKay would have said about Bell carrying ball 44 times: "It's not heavy." (17).
15; Oklahoma State 1-0;Your 84-0 win was a nail-biter compared with Georgia Tech’s 220-0 over Cumberland in 1916. (16)
16; Clemson 1-0; Running back Ellington was Andre the Giant with those 231 yards against Auburn. (19)
17; Michigan 0-1; Lesson coming out of playing Alabama: You definitely need to tie your shoe laces. (7)
18; Wisconsin 1-0; Prepare for a dam break as Badgers head to Corvallis to play Beavers. (15)
19; Louisville 1-0; Beating Kentucky on Sunday may have violated blue laws in Bluegrass state. (21)
20; Kansas State 1-0; No one has yet dared to dub Miami matchup as "Convicts vs. Cowlicks." (22)
21; Utah 1-0; Over the river and through the Wasatch, to Utah State's house we go. (23)
22; Notre Dame 1-0; Might be first program to have quarterback and announcer suspended for opener. (25)
23; Boise State 0-1; Team dropped from polls wonders: "If only we had scheduled Savanna State." (20)
24; Texas Christian 0-0; First-week no-show makes us wonder if Frogs got Big 12 cold feetlegs. (24)
25; Virginia Tech 1-0; HokiesStanford will rotate final spot duties until a permanent replacement can be found. (NR)