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Oscars 2013: Play along with our quasi-drinking game

February 24, 2013|By John Horn and Chris Lee
  • Beer lovers at Oktoberfest in Munich, who probably wished they were playing the Oscars drinking game.
Beer lovers at Oktoberfest in Munich, who probably wished they were playing… (Matthias Schrader / Associated…)

For pop culture aficionados, it’s become a cherished ritual that must be observed around the biggest broadcast events: the TV drinking game.

For Sunday’s Hollywood edition, Times-sanctified enablers have gone beyond boozy suggestions and conjured up a list of prompts to maximize your  enjoyment of – while perhaps minimizing your sobriety during -- the 85th Academy Awards.

FULL COVERAGE: Oscars 2013 | Top nominees

Some suggestions ...

* Every time Seth MacFarlane makes a self-serving reference to one of his TV shows or movies: Take a shot of cheap tequila.

* Any time the camera cuts to Anne Hathaway making her signature I’m-crying-with-my-eyes-while-laughing-with-my-mouth face: Gulp one half-pint of 180-proof Everclear.

* Any time a winner thanks a CAA agent: Make a $100 donation to the American Red Cross.

* During any standing ovation for Barbra Streisand: One discreet sip of Dubonnet over ice (her character’s favorite libation in “The Way We Were”) for every second the ovation lasts.

* Every time the winners for documentary feature or short, animated or live action short, are played off by the academy orchestra: Promise you’ll actually see one of these films within the next calendar year.

Oscars 2013: Nominee list | Ballot | Timeline

* Whenever the “Ted” hologram makes a body fluid joke: Schedule an appointment at your neighborhood medical marijuana dispensary.

* Any time a red carpet commentator calls the Oscars’ ground zero the Dolby Theatre by its former name, the Kodak Theatre: Install $5,000 Dolby sound system in your family room.

* For every person you’ve never heard of listed during the “In Memoriam” segment: Shout “L’chaim!” and chug aquavit.

* Any shot of Daniel Craig during Adele’s rendition of the “Skyfall” theme: Mix  three measures of Gordon's Gin, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel – a Vesper Martini.


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Twitter: @chrislee


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