Yoshiki, who composed this year's theme to the Golden Globes. (Big Hassle )
No doubt most citizens of the world awakened this morning with the following question burning in their minds: "I wonder what the theme to the 2013 Golden Globes this year will be?"
No? Regardless, it's called "Golden Globe Original Theme" and was written by international Japanese rock superstar Yoshiki of the rock group X-Japan, the so-called Bono of Asia. Yoshiki will present this composition to the world when the awards ceremony airs on Sunday, and it will be available for download that same day.
This is nothing new for the composer -- he did it last year, and is no doubt well aware of the importance of bringing viewers in and out of commercial breaks and delivering this year's co-hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey on a bed of grandiose strings, neatly straddling that line between pure cheese and classical gas. While we wait to learn whether Louis C.K. will beat Alec Baldwin for best actor in a TV series comedy, Yoshiki's instrumental creation will offer comfort.
In a statement, Yoshiki said that "composing this music was a journey that involved creating numerous versions in order to arrive at just the right sound to capture the unique combination of glamour and edginess that makes the Golden Globe Awards so entertaining."
The "unique combination" that Yoshiki describes? Something like a 21st century version of Lawrence Welk as interpreted by Liberace that's been inflated until it nearly bursts. Or, as one commenter describes on the song's Soundcloud page, "peaceful like flying in the sky."
Whether Yoshiki's contribution to the glitz and glamour will be properly recognized by the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn. is another matter. As one commenter noted, last year Yoshiki "was only mentioned at the END of the show in the credits, they couldn't even give him a proper introduction. Very disappointed, theme song was amazing though." Listen to it below.
America, meet Yoshiki
How a new song found its way into 'Les Miserables'
'I Got a Boy' delivers a scattered anthem of the Girls' Generation
Follow Randall Roberts on Twitter: @liledit
PHOTOS: Memorable red carpet moments
VIDEO: Go behind the scenes with the awards contenders
THE ENVELOPE: Awards insider