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'Rachael vs. Guy' recap: Hines Ward takes a trip to the farm

January 14, 2013|By Jenn Harris
  • Hines Ward trades the football field for the Food Network show "Rachel vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off."
Hines Ward trades the football field for the Food Network show "Rachel… (Gene J. Puskar / Associated…)

What do you get when you drop a bunch of D-list celebrities on a farm? Farm animals and a little you-know-what on your shoe.

On Sunday night's episode of "Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off," the remaining seven contestants were tasked with preparing a farm-to-table meal. The celebrities picked their own vegetables and used a grill to prepare a main dish and side dish for 25 farm workers. Apparently, gardening is scary for some people, but if you're a celebrity, it's really scary. Chilli and Hines Ward made the most disgusted faces they could manage and tip-toed on the dirt like it was hot coals.

"I guess this is when our blackness got together," Chilli told the camera. "We are the only two cho-co-la-tehs here." Huh?

Team Rachel won, despite Carnie Wilson being the worst team leader ever in the history of team leaders everywhere. She was panicky and a hot mess all over again, but managed to do a barbecue pork chop with potato salad. She even dissed teammate Ward with "I like him, but his cooking skills are just not there yet." Um, who made you an authority on cooking? Kathy Najimy got by with her eggplant dish, and Ward ended up winning best dish with his flank steak and zucchini.

On Team Guy, Johnny Weir impressed with a watermelon salad, Chilli got by with overcooked salmon,  and Dean McDermott and Cornelia Guest landed in the bottom two for the blind tasting. McDermott and Guest had 15 minutes to cook a corn dish. McDermott said that after he saw the pantry of ingredients, he immediately thought "omelet." Who thinks of an omelet when they see corn husks? Regardless, his warped thinking and his corn and queso omelet beat Guest's grilled corn salad, and the socialite went home.

Word gems:

"My cooking skills is impeccable." -- Ward

"I think I picked up some doo-doo out there, but I washed my hands before I prepared your meal." -- Ward

"An omelet without cheese is like a hug without a squeeze." -- McDermott.

ALSO:

Cooking class for beginners

'Top Chef' recap: Let the restaurant wars begin

'Rachael vs. Guy' recap: Dinner theater and then some

Follow Jenn Harris on Twitter or Google+

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