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LATE NIGHT

Charlie Sheen to Lance Armstrong: 'Go get a paper route, dude.'

January 31, 2013|By Meredith Blake

In the off chance you were lying awake at night wondering what America's greatest moral philosopher Charlie Sheen thinks about Lance Armstrong, your wait is over: He’s “kind of a douche,” the “Anger Management” star told Jay Leno on Thursday on “The Tonight Show.”

When asked about the ongoing revelations about Armstrong’s doping, Sheen -- hardly an exemplar of virtue himself -- revealed that he’s not exactly a fan of the disgraced cyclist. At a party some time ago, he eagerly  introduced himself to Armstrong, only to be dismissed with a terse, “That’s nice.”

Photos: Lance Armstrong through the years | Celebrity Meltdowns

The interaction was enough to turn Sheen against Armstrong, well before the rest of us. “Sorry to bother you, Captain Bitchin’,” Sheen joked to Leno. “Go get a paper route, dude.”

Sheen apologized for dropping the “d” word, but Leno agreed with the assessment. “You know what makes me mad about him? It’s not even the fact he cheated… it’s the fact he ruined the lives of people,” he said.

“That was creepy,” said Sheen, who certainly knows a thing or two about being creepy. “If he was a better guy, I think in his life he’d be forgiven a lot faster and a lot easier. Kind of like me.”

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