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The Times' NBA rankings

Miami stays at No. 1; L.A.'s teams move in opposite directions.

March 09, 2013|By Ben Bolch
  • LeBron James and the Miami Heat maintain their hold on the top of The Times' rankings.
LeBron James and the Miami Heat maintain their hold on the top of The Times'… (Pat Carter / Associated…)

GOLDMEMBER

1. MIAMI (46-14)    Like Dr. Evil, Magic Johnson must boost $1-million offer to LeBron James. (1)

NUMBER 2

2. SAN ANTONIO (48-15)    Spurs’ success despite injuries means only Gregg Popovich is indispensable. (2)

3. OKLAHOMA CITY (46-16)    Protective cup sales “Serge” nationwide after low blow to Blake Griffin. (3)

4. DENVER (42-22)    Kosta Koufos dunk around Blake Griffin is payback for Timofey Mozgov. (5)

5. CLIPPERS (44-20)    Hey, Charles Barkley: Matt Barnes is as soft as industrial-grade carpet. (4)

6. MEMPHIS (42-19)    Playing power ball even with forwards Zach Randolph, Darrell Arthur out. (6)

7. INDIANA (39-23)    Danny Granger hopes next comeback is better than a “Friday the 13th” sequel. (7)

8. NEW YORK (38-22)    Sixth man J.R. Smith becomes top option with Carmelo Anthony sidelined. (8)

9. BROOKLYN (37-26)    If Mirza Teletovic can swing momentum, you must be playing Bobcats. (9)

10. GOLDEN STATE (35-28)    Klay Thompson’s three-ball doesn’t lie, unlike dad about son’s finances. (10)

MR. BIGGLESWORTH

11. ATLANTA (34-28)    Josh Smith’s friends save Kobe Bryant dunk clip for future roast. (11)

12. CHICAGO (35-27)    Bulls’ season was something out of “Airplane!” even before engine troubles. (12)

13. LAKERS (32-31)    Kobe Bryant says he fears bees but certainly not Hornets, Raptors. (15)

14. BOSTON (34-27)    Key to game against 76ers was bus driver getting Celtics to arena. (16)

15. HOUSTON (34-30)    There’s so little defense here that most trials end in conviction. (14)

16. UTAH (32-31)    Tiebreaker against Lakers won’t mean much once Jazz fall out of playoff chase. (13)

17. MILWAUKEE (30-29)    Jim Boylan gives thanks daily that Bucks aren’t in Western Conference. (17)

18. PORTLAND (29-32)    Adam Morrison may have been upgrade over half of Trail Blazers’ roster. (19)

19. DALLAS (28-33)    Dirk Nowitzki could stay off knees rest of season if Mavs keep falling on rear. (18)

20. TORONTO (24-39)    DeMar DeRozan was DeMan against Lakers until Kobe Bryant’s heroics. (20)

MINI-ME

21. PHILADELPHIA (23-38)    Godot may show up before Andrew Bynum makes his 76ers debut. (22)

22. DETROIT (23-41)    If Justin Verlander played for this team his top pitch would be the screwball. (21)

23. MINNESOTA (21-38)    Timberwolves plummeted long before Kevin Love took Polar Bear Plunge. (23)

24. NEW ORLEANS (21-42)    Lakers loss really was the night the lights went out in the Big Easy. (24)

25. CLEVELAND (21-41)    Signing injury-plagued 7-footer Greg Oden could make Cavs a bigger flop. (26)

26. WASHINGTON (20-41)    Win-one, lose-one approach is a big improvement for Wizards. (25)

27. PHOENIX (22-41)    Suns already a shoo-in for lottery before Marcin Gortat sprains right foot. (27)

28. SACRAMENTO (22-42)    Kings are still the best at showing how the West will be yawn. (28)

29. ORLANDO (17-46)    Jameer Nelson must concede it’s true that nobody wanted Brian Cook. (29)

RANDOM TASK

30. CHARLOTTE (13-50)    No interest in Bobcats for members’ pickup game at El Segundo health club. (30)

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