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Need a raise? Want a tattoo? It's your lucky day

May 02, 2013|By Paul Whitefield

Now here’s a headline that probably has folks at companies like Qualcomm quaking: “Company offers raises to employees who get tattooed with its logo.”

My colleague Ricardo Lopez reported Thursday on Rapid Realty, a New York real estate firm that is offering its workers a 15% raise if they get a tattoo of the company’s logo, which is a double-R. Seems one over-eager employee (there's always one, right?) did it on his own; the boss liked it (of course!) and now it’s everyone into the inkwell, so to speak -- about 40 employees taking the plunge so far.

If I may be honest, I’m not that keen on having “Tribune” inked across my anatomy, though I confess that would be better than our previous owner, Times-Mirror.

But who couldn’t use a raise these days? (OK, yeah, probably the folks at the L.A. Department of Water and Power, who, as we learned in a Times story Thursday, had an average pay of nearly $100,000 -- in 2011! Though no mention of whether that included credit for tattoos.)

And here I was thinking that the bad news of the day was that a) some employers are cutting part-timers’ hours because of Obamacare to avoid paying for their healthcare; b) California has the highest gasoline taxes in the country; or c) Lindsay Lohan has checked herself into a Newport Beach rehab center that has no license to provide alcohol or drug treatment. (OK, you got me, that last one was just a shameless effort to drive traffic to this post. Though last I checked, Lohan does have some pretty nifty tattoos!)

Anyway, my gut tells me that this tattoo-for-raise thing may catch on. (Also, that's where most men might think of getting a tattoo, it being their most ample canvas, so to speak. For you ladies, the Web has a treasure trove of discreet possibilities.)

Still, most companies have their workers over a barrel these days, so why not a tattoo table too? After all, what’s a little more humiliation? It’s all about team-building, right, team?

And how appropriate that this news comes so near May Day, also known as International Workers' Day, which celebrates the labor movement and workers' rights. (Or, if you're in Seattle, it's an excuse to pillage downtown. Must be all that coffee, and rain.)

So, workers of the world, prepare to turn the other cheek -- if that’s where you want the tattoo, that is.

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