Audi Automobile

D\o7O\f7 you hear it? That long seismic moan underfoot, the thick serial popping of tectonic fractures as if the Earth's rivets were giving way? It can only mean the arrival of the Audi Q7, the latest full-size luxury SUV to give the planet a hernia. But wait, you say, I thought Americans had finally gotten sick of full-size sport-utility warthogs. Isn't that part of Detroit's current crisis, that the market is abandoning these Rabelaisian monsters in favor of more sensibly sized transport?

NO fewer than four Audi employees in shiny suits escorted the 2008 Audi R8 to the L.A. Times' garage a few weeks ago, a veritable task force of handlers to introduce me to the company's new six-figure, mid-engine supercar. Once they arrived, there wasn't much for them to do but stand around and Armor-All their lapels.

For reasons that scarcely require elaboration, "lubricity" is one of my favorite words. It is, first of all, fun to say, all slippery with sibilance. Second, many fine things are lubricious in nature. Easy dinner conversation, for instance. The balanced slickness of a well-oiled pistol (caution: Avoid combining dinner conversation and pistols). In fact, lubricity might even be counted as one of the universal cues of quality.

Audi's timing couldn't be better. The German prestige brand is bringing the five-door hatchback version of the A3 -- a compact premium car, for the purposes of pigeonholing -- to the U.S. market just as our Rabelaisian appetites are starting to get the better of us. Luxury SUV sales are off in double digits and full-size luxury car sales are sagging like Kirk Kerkorian's glutei.

Millionaires are a growth market. The ranks of the seven-figured in the U.S. and Canada rose 10% last year, according to Merrill Lynch & Co. One of every 121 North Americans, about 2.7 million, now qualify as "high net worth individuals." The rolls of the highest rollers, with personal wealth greater than $30 million, increased 9% worldwide. So, remember, as you plan your family's financial future: Now is an excellent time to be wealthy. Of course, $1 million isn't what it used to be.

T\o7HE\f7 Audi A6 Avant brings culture to the culture of entitlement. If your car-purchasing motives include impressing the boorish burghers of the County Orange, there are plenty of flashy cars at the $50,000 price point that bounce the needle more. The A6 Avant is a car for people with money who would really rather not make an issue of it -- your anonymous-opera-benefactor types. It's also quietly gorgeous.

How fast do you need to get to the grocery store, dry cleaners or lumberyard? Audi obviously thinks you need to get there very quickly because for 2004 it has brought back the performance S series for its A4 sedan, wagon and the new cabriolet (convertible). Audi last offered a performance S version of its A4 sedan and wagon in the 2002 model year. For '04 the S designation returns on a car with a 4.2-liter, 340-horsepower V-8 to give it quite a pop.

Ford Motor Co.'s Taurus and Sable sedans and Audi's A8 won the federal government's top safety rating in tests to measure protection to occupants in front-end collisions. The models shared five-star ratings from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, indicating the cars offered the best crash protection among vehicles of similar weight. The 1999 Taurus and 1998 Audi A8, made by Volkswagen's luxury car unit, are among the first vehicles to be tested this year.

In the go-go 1980s, owning a Mercedes-Benz or BMW was the height of fashion for the conspicuous-consumption crowd. Then came the stock market crash, the luxury tax, a recession and, most important, Japanese rivals. First Honda with its Acura luxury line, and then Toyota with Lexus and Nissan with Infiniti introduced a new level of quality, value and customer pampering to American shores.