Box Score

Butler had three hits, the little red-haired girl tells me. "In two at-bats." "That's impossible," I say. "Says right here," she insists, pointing to the box score. It's Sunday morning, and I'm teaching the little red-haired girl how to read the Sports section. Like a lot of beginners, she tends to start with the first page, then work her way inside.

BEN BOLCH'S RANKINGS, COMMENTS THROUGH SATURDAY NO FOOLING AROUND 1. CHICAGO (42-11) Derrick Rose's groin not a growing problem for Bulls, who keep on rolling. (1) 2. OKLAHOMA CITY (39-12) Rejuvenated Derek Fisher doesn't need as much Bengay with Thunder. (2) 3. MIAMI (37-13) LeBron James vs. Kevin Durant MVP debate more compelling than 2012 political race. (3) 4. SAN ANTONIO (36-14) Box score against 76ers Philadelphia lists Tim Duncan as "Did Not Dress -- Old. " Really.

What has happened to the once-beautiful box score? Someone has cluttered it up with a lot of meaningless numbers that detract from its usual simplicity. Hey, I don't care how many times Scott Lusader (or anybody else) has been CS'ed. Caught stealing? As one accustomed to poring over a box score, I'm going to take it for granted that's what it is. Nor do I care to know the total errors Ken Caminiti (or anybody else) has to date. As for doubles and triples, can't we just rely on the weekly printing of these stats in "Major League Leaders?"

The emphasis Lakers Coach Mike Brown stressed on defense comes in many shapes and forms. There are DVDs. Brown wowed the Lakers' front office with these during his job interview so much that he quickly became the favored candidate. He then distributed them to all his players before the lockout so they'd get a head-start on learning and executing his defensive concepts. There are terms. The main one Brown reiterates involves "shrinking the floor," which entails closing off baseline drives.

The High Desert Mavericks of the Class-A California League chart their success at home according to what food is served in the press box. Earlier in the season, the Mavericks had a 3-0 record when hot dogs were the fare. When the menu was varied, they lost five of the next six games. Recently, the Mavericks had a 2-0 home record with hamburgers on the menu. However, when hot dogs were combined with hamburgers, the Mavericks lost a game in extra innings.

The standard National Basketball Assn. box score, required reading for almost all players, seemingly provides enough pertinent statistical information to satisfy anyone. It chronicles, in detail, everything from field-goal percentage to blocked shots to assists to offensive and defensive rebounds. But that doesn't tell Laker guard Michael Cooper, voted onto the NBA's All-Defensive team the last two seasons, what he really wants to know about the game.

The ash at the end of the third baseman's cigarette threatened to fall as he took his time picking a bat. But it kept hanging on, like the third baseman himself, 62, and the second baseman, 72, and the left fielder, almost 74. And like all the rest of these old men in uniforms who keep living to play softball. Beautiful day for a game. Sunny and so still at 8:30 Saturday morning that the dirt covering Joe Rodgers Field would not kick up without help.

I propose that the Dodgers start all home games at 5 p.m. This way, the games might end early enough so The Times can get the box score in and the standings updated for once. GARY RAMBO San Clemente

The Dodgers must have gotten the last four numbers of the phone number to call for tickets (213-224 1-HIT ) from their box score. BUDDY GARDNER North Hollywood

It's been a season for the record books, one that might prompt sympathetic historians to wipe their brows in relief that there actually was a hitter worse than Adam Dunn. Bill Bergen once batted .139 for the Brooklyn Superbas, surrounded by teammates named Red, Doc and Nap. The year was 1909. No everyday player has fared worse since. In the live-ball era that started in the 1920s, Rob Deer holds the record for hitting futility among regulars with a .179 average for Detroit in 1991.

As he slowly dressed after the game, Lamar Odom sighed before he announced rather quietly, "I feel better. " The stat line Odom had was reason enough for him to feel that way. He filled up the box score for the Lakers during their 114-106 victory over the Phoenix Suns on Friday night at US Airways Center. Odom gave the Lakers some offense, scoring 18 points, missing only four of his 12 shots, making his only three-point attempt. Odom gave the Lakers activity on the backboards, collecting a game-high 17 rebounds, three offensive.

Andre Ethier was as unfortunate as Vicente Padilla was wild on Monday. A couple of feet here, a few inches there and the Dodgers could have celebrated opening day with a victory instead of the 11-5 defeat they suffered at the hands of the Pittsburgh Pirates at PNC Park. "You know, that's the way my season goes," Ethier said. "I don't get cheap hits." The final box score indicated that Ethier went one for five with a double and a run, but failed to show the hard-hit balls that somehow ended up in Pirates gloves at critical junctures in the game.

Some of the highs and lows of watching Angels-Yankees Game 6. Say hey Fox's Joe Buck said, "It seems like it's been about a week since we played Game 5 back in Southern California." Well, it was only Thursday. Maybe Buck doesn't like New York? Say what? An early Fox graphic gave us these "Keys to the Game." For the Angels: "Trouble with hello is goodbye." And for the Yankees, "Have CC ready for Game 1 of World Series." OK, huh? Sabathia wasn't pitching Game 6 for the Yankees.

Do not trust the headline and the box score. The Angels did not lose the American League Championship Series on Sunday in New York. They lost the series on a Tuesday in Vallejo, a small town 30 miles inland from San Francisco. The date, to be exact, was Dec. 9, 2008. CC Sabathia had invited Brian Cashman to his home. Cashman, the general manager of the New York Yankees, did not leave until Sabathia had agreed to sign with his team and turn down the Angels. That decision haunted the Angels this October, and it could haunt them for Octobers to come.

Some of the highs and lows of watching Angels-Yankees Game 5. Say hey Into the nervous silence that seemed to surround Angel Stadium just before the first pitch, Fox's Joe Buck said, "This crowd may need a little jolt tonight. This place is awful quiet." Say what? If you're looking for a holiday gift for Buck, perhaps a globe? In talking about Cuban defector Aroldis Chapman, a pitching prospect, Buck referred to the place where Chapman was now living as "Angora" which is a kind of sweater.

What's wrong with the Lakers? Take a look at the Game 4 box score. Maurice Lucas, in 21 minutes, scores no points, collects no rebounds, offers no assists, but manages five personal fouls (or 10 Rocket points, the margin of victory). Some Enforcer. ROOS REED Sherman Oaks

Some of the highs and lows of watching Dodgers-Phillies Game 5. Say hey "It's do or die for the Dodgers in Game 5." That was the opening of the final TBS NLCS telecast by lead announcer Chip Caray. Even with a day off, Caray couldn't come up with something more creative? Say what? In the top of the eighth, on Matt Kemp's line-drive single, Caray's description: "Fly ball to center field by Matt Kemp." It was never a fly ball. It was what it was -- a hard-hit line drive.

Some of the highs and lows of watching Angels-Yankees Game 2. Say hey "Mind passing the overcoat again, it's still cold and windy, just like Game 1," said Fox pregame show host Chris Rose. "The teams will battle the elements." Say what? Doppler Radar so lied to Joe Buck. Well, figuratively at least. Buck, Fox's play-by-play announcer, told us often that rain was "imminent." He said Doppler Radar was telling him, and us, that rain would come in large amounts by 10 p.m. EDT, that it was likely the game might not finish.