Brian Carroll

An 85-year-old former alderman has been charged with giving "ghost" jobs to 35 friends and relatives who collected more than $1.5 million in pay and health benefits over two decades but did little or no work. Anthony Laurino, who sat on the council for three decades, is the 23rd person charged in the ongoing investigation into ghost jobs at City Hall and in Cook County and state government. Ten of the 35 people have been charged and nine convicted.

English midfielder Paul Gascoigne will not be joining Major League Soccer after all. D.C. United, the MLS club that had been pursuing the 35-year-old former World Cup star, Thursday announced that contract talks with Gascoigne and his agent had ended and that the player known worldwide simply as "Gazza" is no longer a part of its plans. Gascoigne, a free agent, had trained twice with the team in the last week. The decision not to go forward was said to be mutual. U.S.

There's certainly nothing wrong with virtuosity. And there's nothing wrong with practicing virtuosity while wearing a white, expressionless face mask and an inverted KFC bucket as a hat. It's worked well enough to give Brian Carroll -- known to the world as Buckethead -- a decent career as an underground guitar hero (the last few years more aboveground thanks to his stint in the latter-day Guns N' Roses).

His body wrapped in explosives, a Kansas railroad accountant burst onto the fourth floor of the U.S. District Courthouse here Thursday morning, flinging pipe bombs and firing from semiautomatic pistols. The gunman, identified as Jack McKnight, 37, who was due to be sentenced later in the day on federal firearm and drug charges, shot a security officer to death and wounded four other people. In the court clerk's office he told one frightened woman, "You aren't the one I'm looking for!"

Nick Vander Tuig, UCLA's reliable No. 2 starter, teetered Saturday in the NCAA regional. Cal Poly just couldn't get him to topple. By the time Vander Tuig departed, he and UCLA were in control. The Bruins' 6-4 victory gave them an afternoon off in the NCAA regional at Jackie Robinson Stadium. Cal Poly (40-18) plays San Diego (33-23) Sunday at 2 p.m. The winner of that game plays UCLA at 6 p.m. The Bruins (41-17), and Vander Tuig, were able to exhale after they fell behind, 4-0, Saturday.

No Landon Donovan. No Taylor Twellman. No Kevin Hartman. No Clint Dempsey. No hope? No matter. The result today when the United States plays Guatemala in an international soccer friendly at Frisco, Texas, is of secondary importance -- almost no importance at all, in fact. What matters is how the 17 players on U.S. Coach Bruce Arena's roster perform.

One can never tell by watching Dan Kunkes whether he is winning or losing a wrestling match. His calm demeanor hides a fierce desire to win. On Saturday, the senior from Simi Valley High displayed plenty of desire and placed fifth in the heavyweight division (275 pounds and over) at the two-day Southern Section Masters meet at Fountain Valley High. Kunkes finished with a 5-2 record and qualified for the state championships next weekend in Stockton.

The United States advanced to the quarterfinals of the FIFA World Youth Championship on Monday by defeating the Ivory Coast, 2-0, at Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. The U.S., 4-0 in the 24-nation tournament, won on first-half goals by Justin Mapp and Ed Johnson and will play defending under-20 world champion Argentina in the quarterfinals Friday. The U.S. took the lead in the seventh minute on a fastbreak triggered by D.C.