Christmas Cards

Re "Hold the holy in those happy holidays," Opinion, Dec. 1 Why does everything have to turn into a battle? Jonah Goldberg, the judges wouldn't be doing their jobs if, when the people bring cases to court, they just said, "Never mind -- we are supposed to mind our own business." This whole idea that by saying "happy holidays" you're anti-Christmas is bogus. I don't know what holiday everyone I meet celebrates -- there are actually other holidays of significance celebrated during this season.

Many families send out holiday cards that are essentially family portraits -- parents and children in various degrees of matching velvets and plaids posed somewhere meant to invoke the season. If collected over the years, such cards would chronicle the various changes time grants, and inflicts, on people -- children multiply and grow, adults experiment with hairstyles, colors and silhouettes. Nick Spark's family Christmas cards show all of these things, but they go way beyond that.

Is it just me, or is the mail a lot creepier this season? I've been combat-trained on political mailers. I'm prepped for the passively-aggressively chatty holiday newsletters. But this, as the TV-casters say to scare you into paying attention, is a new and alarming trend! Letters haven't been this loaded with grim tidings since the mail brought sprinklings of anthrax to Florida and Capitol Hill.

Perhaps you're still racking your brain for gift ideas; perhaps you're considering giving your nearest and dearest something homemade this holiday season. How fondly I remember in my school days making festive ceramic ashtrays for my folks. (My daughter informs me that they don't do this at schools anymore.

Americans will mail an estimated 2.6 billion holiday greeting cards to friends and loved ones this month. Christmas is the largest card-sending occasion in the United States and, except for the U.S. Postal Service, card maker Hallmark touches more of them than anyone else. The Kansas City, Mo.-based company figures the average American household will send and receive 28 Christmas cards.

They are living a Christmas waltz, three heartbeats per measure, like something Coltrane would play. "Watch this," one of the kids says, spinning around the room in three-quarter time, dancing to the music in their heads. "No, watch this," another one says, spinning even faster. "Just don't break anything," I say, licking another envelope, finishing another card.

I recently got a call from a reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper who wanted to interview me about my new book, "Simplify Your Christmas." She mentioned she'd spent a good deal of the previous two weeks in the gift and department stores in her area doing research on a story she was writing on gadgets that are designed to relieve the stress of the holidays. The stores were already festively decorated, and happy carols were being piped out of Muzak speakers.

For needy Long Beach Poly High School students, help can be as close as the art department. A school-wide Christmas card design contest, now in its second year, raises money for a contingency fund that helps students with personal emergencies. Last year, card sales earned $1,000 at $1 per card. Students are looking to do even better this year with a $2 price. This year's design winner, Helena Hsieh, an 11th-grade honors student, focused her creation on peace.

What: Sports Spectrum Greeting Cards The sports fan in your family or your address book will get a laugh out of these sports-themed greeting cards. Featuring whimsical drawings of athletes and sayings that are as punny as they are funny, they cover a wide range of occasions and sports--and touch an assortment of religious bases by offering Hanukkah cards, Christmas cards and generic season's greetings.