Conrad Dobler

Even those who cursed his name in the 1970s would empathize with Conrad Dobler in his current plight. The man Sports Illustrated once dubbed "pro football's dirtiest player" -- on its cover, no less -- Dobler lives a life of not-so-quiet desperation, "a never-ending series of setbacks and worst-case scenarios," as one writer aptly described it. Not quite 60 years old, his body ravaged by a decade in the NFL trenches, the three-time Pro...

Even those who cursed his name in the 1970s would empathize with Conrad Dobler in his current plight. The man Sports Illustrated once dubbed "pro football's dirtiest player" -- on its cover, no less -- Dobler lives a life of not-so-quiet desperation, "a never-ending series of setbacks and worst-case scenarios," as one writer aptly described it. Not quite 60 years old, his body ravaged by a decade in the NFL trenches, the three-time Pro...

Will somebody please hold Merlin Olsen down for a few days? Tie him up if you have to. It might be a good idea to give every defensive lineman in the area rabies shots. Quarantine the Ram camp. Conrad Dobler is in town! You all remember Conrad Dobler? The guy with the Fu Manchu mustache and the antisocial instincts of a treed gorilla. Put an iron flowerpot on his head and a saber in his hand and you got Conan the Barbarian. A one-man Mongol horde. Genghis Khan would hide.

A street will be named in honor of Purdue quarterback Drew Brees in West Lafayette, Ind. It has a soothing name: Brees Way. "It's kind of crazy," Brees said. "That's a huge thing because the street is in a spot where a lot of people will be traveling. I'll probably have to drive down the street from time to time." Like, every day, Drew? * Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for most field goals of 50 yards or more in a game?

A street will be named in honor of Purdue quarterback Drew Brees in West Lafayette, Ind. It has a soothing name: Brees Way. "It's kind of crazy," Brees said. "That's a huge thing because the street is in a spot where a lot of people will be traveling. I'll probably have to drive down the street from time to time." Like, every day, Drew? * Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for most field goals of 50 yards or more in a game?

Who is Rob Konrad and why is Bryan Cox saying all those bad things about him? Konrad, an unheralded Miami Dolphin fullback, was minding his business, trying to get knee and ankle sprains healed in time for Monday night's first-place meeting with the Jets when Cox, a former Dolphin linebacker now with the Jets, stepped into a CNN studio and during a television interview declared, "Rob Konrad can't block his way out of a paper bag."

With Kenny (The Snake) Stabler cackling in a corner, The Kid edged out Smooth to earn the right for Billy (White Shoes) Johnson to juke him on a Florida beach the day before the Super Bowl. If that sounds like the hallucination of somebody who has pounded too many shots of tequila, well, you're close. A tequila company is staging a promotional flag football game in Ft.

They called it 3-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust, and it won a lot of games for Ohio State, but not everyone was enthralled with it. Gus Schrader of the Des Moines Register recalled Woody Hayes saying to a group of writers: "Hey, not all of you think Ohio State's offense is dull. Take John Dietrich there. John, you've written a lot about Ohio State football. Don't you find our offense exciting?" "You're offense is great, Woody," replied Dietrich, a writer for the Cleveland News.

What: "Beyond Xs and O's: My Thirty Years in the NFL." Author: Jim Hanifan with Rob Rains. Publisher: Sports Publishing LLC. Price: $22.95. Assistant coaches rarely get much recognition, and that usually goes double for offensive line coaches. But that's not the case with Jim Hanifan, who is famous enough to author a book. Hanifan, the offensive line coach of the St. Louis Rams, may become the first coach elected into the Pro Football Hall of Fame largely on his success as an assistant.

Woody Paige of the Denver Post, ridiculing the Broncos for losing to the previously winless Cincinnati Bengals, 31-21, on Sunday: "Mike Shanahan has scheduled the Broncos' annual Official Team Photo for [today]. "However, Shanahan should forget the photo shoot and cancel all shore leave for the bye weekend. After playing like warthogs against the most feeble, futile franchise in football, the Broncos deserve no time, no quarter given. "Boot camp, not training camp."

Who is Rob Konrad and why is Bryan Cox saying all those bad things about him? Konrad, an unheralded Miami Dolphin fullback, was minding his business, trying to get knee and ankle sprains healed in time for Monday night's first-place meeting with the Jets when Cox, a former Dolphin linebacker now with the Jets, stepped into a CNN studio and during a television interview declared, "Rob Konrad can't block his way out of a paper bag."

Will somebody please hold Merlin Olsen down for a few days? Tie him up if you have to. It might be a good idea to give every defensive lineman in the area rabies shots. Quarantine the Ram camp. Conrad Dobler is in town! You all remember Conrad Dobler? The guy with the Fu Manchu mustache and the antisocial instincts of a treed gorilla. Put an iron flowerpot on his head and a saber in his hand and you got Conan the Barbarian. A one-man Mongol horde. Genghis Khan would hide.

Before a game in which he planned to match Kerry Kittles against the Chicago Bulls' Michael Jordan, New Jersey Net Coach John Calipari had some words of advice for his rookie guard. "I told him, 'Do not make him mad, do not talk junk, and if you score on him, just say, 'Excuse me, I'm sorry about that.' Just let him play his game and leave the building,' " Calipari said. * Trivia time: In the 1991 NFL draft, what quarterbacks were picked ahead of Southern Mississippi's Brett Favre?

Bernie Lincicome in the Rocky Mountain News: "Sports should be nicer now; a good thing, I suppose. I expect less trash talk, fewer cheap shots, not as much chatter about going to war, that sort of thing .... "I think one of the most overwrought leads ever written on a sports story came from an English sportswriter covering another World Cup defeat of the national soccer team by Germany.