April 7, 2010
Dear Amy: I'm about to be engaged to a wonderful woman. I have known her for three years. I have been wondering whether I should tell her that I had lap band surgery for my obesity seven years ago when I was 45. The surgery enabled me to lose 100 pounds. I had a subsequent tummy tuck that I lied to my lady about (to explain the scar). I have never told anyone else, including my family, about this. My lady is 5 foot 10 and a good weight, but it took her some time to get used to my eating habits -- which include eating less than she does.
November 19, 2009
Dear Amy: I have been living with my paramour for almost three years. We are both in our 50s. He is still married, despite a lengthy legal separation. He often says it is "time to do something" about that, but that is as far as it goes. I want more than just a roommate, plus, if something happens to him, I'm stuck financially. I love him dearly, and he says he loves me too. But I find myself wondering -- am I all alone in this relationship? How do I broach this without sounding needy and greedy?
March 2, 2010
Dear Amy: We recently learned that my husband would likely be laid off within a month. My husband is devastated; in addition to the impact this has had on his professional ego, he feels he's letting his family down by not being able to support us until he finds another job. I have tried to reassure him that this is a chance to get a job he will love. His paycheck is not what makes him the amazing father and husband he is. Is there anything else I could do? Concerned Wife Dear Wife: One unfortunate aspect of the current unemployment situation is that men are losing their jobs at a disproportionally high rate.
March 4, 2010
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 24 years. He does business development for a large firm. He is involved in numerous community groups, explaining that this is how he builds relationships and clients. He is home Sundays and two or three evenings each week. When home, he spends hours responding to e-mails and reading Facebook sites. I feel lonely when I see the great relationships he maintains with others, whereas all I get is a tired, stressed and distant husband.
January 3, 2010
Dear Amy: Seven years ago, when my then boyfriend was dating me, he "confessed" that he had intimate relationships with three women before dating me. And I took him at his word. We have been married for two years. Recently when I cleaned the basement, I came across many love letters written by his ex-girlfriends. These letters detailed his sexual activities. Based on these letters, my husband slept with way more than three women. I understand what happened was before my time, but I don't understand why he was not telling me the truth in the beginning of our relationship.
December 13, 2009
Dear Amy: My mother has suddenly turned against drinking. I am hosting a 60th birthday party for myself. My mother will not go if there is one glass of alcohol served. How I should handle this? Julia Dear Julia: You are not the cause of your mother's distress, but you should do your best to reassure her without letting her unreasonably control you. You should also make sure her health is stable because she doesn't sound completely rational. I suggest you lovingly dodge dwelling on this.
February 14, 2010
Dear Amy: Our grandson recently got married. One Sunday afternoon, the newlyweds paid us an unexpected visit. After visiting for a short while, I thought my wife should have offered them coffee or tea. I would like to know who should take the initiative to make an offering. I feel that the wife (who is the homemaker) should have taken it upon herself (or should have asked me) to make a lunch or something to offer to our guests. I know we made a bad impression on them.
March 7, 2010
Dear Amy: My sister "Carol" was married for about 10 years to "Steve." About three years ago, he started cheating on Carol and eventually left her. She was devastated. He recently married the woman and they have a baby. My sister "Sarah" and her husband have maintained a close relationship with Steve and his new family. Do you feel this relationship they maintain with Steve is appropriate? Christine Dear Christine: A sensitive family member will realize that during a difficult divorce, attention and concern should be lavished onto the aggrieved family member.
December 24, 2009
Dear Amy: Every year my family exchanges our gift lists, and every year I shop, wrap and ship our gifts in time for Christmas. However, one family member, who always is the first to ask what we would like for Christmas, continuously sends gifts days, weeks and at times months after Christmas. As much as we really enjoy and appreciate the gifts, it is becoming somewhat insulting to receive them so late. We have a very small family, and it is only my husband and I who receive the gifts late.
February 22, 2010
Dear Amy: My mother is a beloved member of our family. Because Mom is so great and such a fun person to be around, whenever one of my siblings or I travel with our families, we will often invite Mom and pay her way. My father, who has no interest in coming along on these trips, has a problem with this arrangement. He says that we are being disrespectful and that we are treating Mom like a glorified nanny, especially if we take her up on her offer to watch the kids one night so we can go to dinner with our spouses.