January 3, 2010
Dear Amy: Seven years ago, when my then boyfriend was dating me, he "confessed" that he had intimate relationships with three women before dating me. And I took him at his word. We have been married for two years. Recently when I cleaned the basement, I came across many love letters written by his ex-girlfriends. These letters detailed his sexual activities. Based on these letters, my husband slept with way more than three women. I understand what happened was before my time, but I don't understand why he was not telling me the truth in the beginning of our relationship.
March 15, 2010
Dear Amy: A 16-month-old toddler relative has screaming tantrums when she cannot get her way. When this happens at home, the girl's parents call a "timeout." Being in a public place poses more challenges. Someone suggested that the person who was with the toddler should strap her into her car seat and wait outside in the car until she was done screaming. However, this little girl is strong and stiffened her body to avoid sitting in the seat. Any ideas? Wondering Dear Wondering: As much as I dislike the idea of one person physically controlling another, there are times when adults do need to restrain or simply force a young child to yield -- when their basic safety or well being is at stake.
January 10, 2010
Dear Amy: In this age of Republican vs. Democrat in almost all phases of government, the stress of relatives being of the other party and attending tea parties, disrupting town halls and marching on Washington has strained family relationships. I know we are all different and have the freedom to choose, but I feel as if these are personal attacks on me, so I have deleted all conservative friends from my Facebook account. There are a lot of people with these feelings in both parties -- any suggestions on how to deal with it?
December 13, 2009
Dear Amy: My mother has suddenly turned against drinking. I am hosting a 60th birthday party for myself. My mother will not go if there is one glass of alcohol served. How I should handle this? Julia Dear Julia: You are not the cause of your mother's distress, but you should do your best to reassure her without letting her unreasonably control you. You should also make sure her health is stable because she doesn't sound completely rational. I suggest you lovingly dodge dwelling on this.
February 14, 2010
Dear Amy: Our grandson recently got married. One Sunday afternoon, the newlyweds paid us an unexpected visit. After visiting for a short while, I thought my wife should have offered them coffee or tea. I would like to know who should take the initiative to make an offering. I feel that the wife (who is the homemaker) should have taken it upon herself (or should have asked me) to make a lunch or something to offer to our guests. I know we made a bad impression on them.
March 7, 2010
Dear Amy: My sister "Carol" was married for about 10 years to "Steve." About three years ago, he started cheating on Carol and eventually left her. She was devastated. He recently married the woman and they have a baby. My sister "Sarah" and her husband have maintained a close relationship with Steve and his new family. Do you feel this relationship they maintain with Steve is appropriate? Christine Dear Christine: A sensitive family member will realize that during a difficult divorce, attention and concern should be lavished onto the aggrieved family member.
December 24, 2009
Dear Amy: Every year my family exchanges our gift lists, and every year I shop, wrap and ship our gifts in time for Christmas. However, one family member, who always is the first to ask what we would like for Christmas, continuously sends gifts days, weeks and at times months after Christmas. As much as we really enjoy and appreciate the gifts, it is becoming somewhat insulting to receive them so late. We have a very small family, and it is only my husband and I who receive the gifts late.
February 22, 2010
Dear Amy: My mother is a beloved member of our family. Because Mom is so great and such a fun person to be around, whenever one of my siblings or I travel with our families, we will often invite Mom and pay her way. My father, who has no interest in coming along on these trips, has a problem with this arrangement. He says that we are being disrespectful and that we are treating Mom like a glorified nanny, especially if we take her up on her offer to watch the kids one night so we can go to dinner with our spouses.
February 24, 2010
Dear Amy: Later this year I will wed the love of my life. This is his first marriage and my third; it will be a small, intimate affair. We are both pushing 50, and neither of us has children, but we both like kids. I have four couples who are friends with small children. After some lengthy conversations among us, we would like to have our day with adults only. Most of these couples will welcome the chance to get a baby sitter and party for a few hours. However, other couples will be offended, and that worries me. Should I call these couples before I send out the invitations and explain that our wedding is adults-only?
March 14, 2010
Dear Amy: My buddy and I have been good friends for more than 20 years, but recently one of his country club pals said some nasty things about me. My friend, "James," was present, and he is still on very friendly terms with his neighbor. I asked him about this, and he said he has a right to be friends with each of us and not take sides. Shouldn't a friend stand up for his good friend? Barry Dear Barry: I agree with your friend that he has a right to be friends with whomever he wants.