April 1, 2010
Dear Amy: I work for a partner at a very distinguished company. He has been conducting an affair with a "client" for more than three years now. He has been married for well over 20 years. He, however, is utilizing company funds to wine and dine his mistress and is asking me to submit these expenses for reimbursement. My conundrum is that if I report him I will lose my job; he is very connected. If I don't, then I feel I am cheating the company. I have asked to be transferred, but no other positions are available.
November 19, 2009
Dear Amy: I have been living with my paramour for almost three years. We are both in our 50s. He is still married, despite a lengthy legal separation. He often says it is "time to do something" about that, but that is as far as it goes. I want more than just a roommate, plus, if something happens to him, I'm stuck financially. I love him dearly, and he says he loves me too. But I find myself wondering -- am I all alone in this relationship? How do I broach this without sounding needy and greedy?
December 13, 2009
Dear Amy: My mother has suddenly turned against drinking. I am hosting a 60th birthday party for myself. My mother will not go if there is one glass of alcohol served. How I should handle this? Julia Dear Julia: You are not the cause of your mother's distress, but you should do your best to reassure her without letting her unreasonably control you. You should also make sure her health is stable because she doesn't sound completely rational. I suggest you lovingly dodge dwelling on this.
January 10, 2010
Dear Amy: In this age of Republican vs. Democrat in almost all phases of government, the stress of relatives being of the other party and attending tea parties, disrupting town halls and marching on Washington has strained family relationships. I know we are all different and have the freedom to choose, but I feel as if these are personal attacks on me, so I have deleted all conservative friends from my Facebook account. There are a lot of people with these feelings in both parties -- any suggestions on how to deal with it?
January 3, 2010
Dear Amy: Seven years ago, when my then boyfriend was dating me, he "confessed" that he had intimate relationships with three women before dating me. And I took him at his word. We have been married for two years. Recently when I cleaned the basement, I came across many love letters written by his ex-girlfriends. These letters detailed his sexual activities. Based on these letters, my husband slept with way more than three women. I understand what happened was before my time, but I don't understand why he was not telling me the truth in the beginning of our relationship.
March 2, 2010
Dear Amy: We recently learned that my husband would likely be laid off within a month. My husband is devastated; in addition to the impact this has had on his professional ego, he feels he's letting his family down by not being able to support us until he finds another job. I have tried to reassure him that this is a chance to get a job he will love. His paycheck is not what makes him the amazing father and husband he is. Is there anything else I could do? Concerned Wife Dear Wife: One unfortunate aspect of the current unemployment situation is that men are losing their jobs at a disproportionally high rate.
March 18, 2010
Dear Amy: I am a sophomore in high school. I recently reconnected with a friend I was close to last year. Over the summer, our friendship sort of fell apart. This year, he has found new friends, and our brief talk the other day was the most contact we had in months. He has gotten into partying. He shows up high to school almost every day. He is also on academic probation and has gotten more detentions than I can count. His parents don't really care about any of this.
March 14, 2010
Dear Amy: My buddy and I have been good friends for more than 20 years, but recently one of his country club pals said some nasty things about me. My friend, "James," was present, and he is still on very friendly terms with his neighbor. I asked him about this, and he said he has a right to be friends with each of us and not take sides. Shouldn't a friend stand up for his good friend? Barry Dear Barry: I agree with your friend that he has a right to be friends with whomever he wants.
March 26, 2010
Dear Amy: I was raised to be helpful and to have good manners. I'm in my mid-20s, and I realize I'm not like other people my age. When I see someone who may need assistance, I try to offer to help. A little while back, I saw an elderly man struggling with a heavy door and wanted to approach him. The problem? It was the door to a public restroom, and I am a woman. I know that opening the door for him might have been embarrassing to anyone using the facilities -- and to me if I inadvertently saw anyone!
March 28, 2010
Dear Amy: I'm in a carpool with two other people. The owner of the car drives every day, and the other rider and I calculate the cost of gas and split it. However, after work we must leave the parking lot at a specific time to avoid getting parking tickets. Sometimes, we leave late and get ticketed. Is it appropriate for the passengers to pick up the cost of the ticket? Wondering Dear Wondering: This is an issue for all of you to discuss openly and work out among the three of you. However, you asked, so I think you should split the cost three ways, depending on the frequency of the ticketing.