December 3, 2009
Dear Amy: A couple of years ago, my best friend confessed she had "those" kinds of feelings for me. Though I cherished her more than anyone, I wasn't ready for a romantic relationship with her. About six months later she wound up with a partner, and the two of them are contentedly together. Meanwhile, I have realized that I had feelings for my BF all along and that I made a mistake in shrugging her off. In case my BF doesn't stay with her partner forever, I want her to know that if she were still interested in me, I'd like to be with her. Is it bad form to let her know how I feel while she's still with her partner?
January 1, 2010
Dear Amy: I am a 14-year-old boy who is starting high school next year. I am slightly small and a little chubby, yet I am talented and smart with sports, and I believe I may have a future in them, yet because of my size nobody believes me. People also make fun of me for various reasons. I am the kid some people just like to pick on. Is it morally wrong to be motivated to be successful just to prove people wrong and be able to laugh in their faces later on? Student in Illinois Dear Student: If it were morally wrong to motivate yourself toward success just to prove that people's opinion of you in middle school was incorrect, then a lot of successful people would have to apologize for their success (myself included)
January 19, 2010
Dear Amy: I have a close friend who lives in another state. My friend is married to a minister, "Bret," who is friends with another minister in another church. (I will call the second minister "Steve.") Steve is about 60 years old and unmarried. For at least 10 years he has hosted teenage boys in his home, sometimes as foster children and sometimes as exchange students. With many of these boys, Steve has engaged in sexually inappropriate behavior, which my friend has described to me. One of these children suffered a breakdown, and his parents had to fly over from Europe to retrieve him. Now Steve is hosting a 16-year-old exchange student with whom he is having a sexual relationship.
January 28, 2010
Dear Amy: I am 5 foot 3 inches and weigh 112 pounds. I recently took a flight where the man sitting next to me weighed at least 250 pounds. There was an armrest between us that I had put down when I sat down, and when he came and sat in his seat next to mine, he put it back up. This left me very uncomfortable, as I had to lean away from him the whole flight because he had taken up my unused space in my seat. I paid for my seat and don't feel that I should be uncomfortable to make someone else more comfortable.
February 16, 2010
Dear Amy: I share office space with a colleague. Our space is detached from the rest of the office. My co-worker and I have very little in common, and by all indications she has no social life and shows signs of emotional instability (she has revealed to me that she is on antidepressants). The problem is that she is constantly in my space, telling me her problems, making catty comments about co-workers and, worst of all, trying to arrange for us to spend time together socially outside of work.
December 29, 2009
Dear Amy: I work for a lovely couple at a family-run educational nonprofit. They are in their mid- and late 70s, and very open-minded. However, every time the husband talks about me to clients or introduces me to them he refers to me as their secretary. I am a 37-year-old college-educated woman. Before this job I was a manager at a large, prestigious company. I was hired as the marketing department here but have ended up taking on work including bookkeeping and taxes -- duties far beyond my job description.
December 31, 2009
Dear Amy: Recently on Facebook I posted a nice note on the "walls" of my family members. It was a note that was sent to me from a friend -- indicating that I was an angel. Amy, I sent this to more than 30 family members! A few of them responded and said the posting was nice, but the rest asked if I was doing OK. To me, it seems like they're asking if I'm mentally unstable and I find that to be very harsh and mean. It's very upsetting. Please shed some light on this.
March 1, 2010
Dear Amy: I'm at a loss as to how to deal with my 16-year-old daughter and to teach her how to "play nice." She is beautiful but lacking in social skills needed to get along well with her peers. At school, she acts rudely toward others. Her humor toward her friends reeks with sarcasm and can be very hurtful. She will talk only to a few people. She has a small group of friends, but is the source of constant drama. Her friends are tiring of her antics. I have serious concerns about my daughter's future.
December 22, 2009
Dear Amy: My daughter is coming to our house for the holidays, bringing her three small children. The dinner is at my mom and dad's house. She asked to bring her "boyfriend." They knew each other many years ago and have recently reconnected but have had only e-mail and phone contact. I said it was fine for her to bring him to dinner, and her grandmother agreed. Now we find out that she wants him to stay with her as a guest at her grandmother's house for the entire time they're here.
January 21, 2010
Dear Amy: I have been married for 17 years and we have two great kids, ages 9 and 11. I fell out of love with my husband several years ago. I have not told him this because I don't want to hurt him, and I don't feel right about ending the marriage right now because it would hurt the kids. But every day I have an ache inside me because I know I'm not happy in this marriage. I would be willing to try counseling, but we actually get along fairly well. I'm torn between sparing my family any pain and my secret sadness that I'm not living an authentic life.