Elite

After months of careful study, I have determined the cause of the Angels' hitting problems and the way to solve them. The Angels merely need to avoid the following types of opposing pitchers: 1. The elite (Clemens, Hudson, Pedro, etc.) 2. Soft-tossing left-handers. 3. 31-year-old minor leaguers trying to hang on. 4. Anyone who can locate the outside corner. 5. Pitchers with ERAs higher than 10 in their last five starts. 6. Rookies making their first big league starts.

Re "When the Government Is a Critic," Opinion, Oct. 3: Several members of the elite have vehemently criticized New York City Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani's opposition to the feces-covered rendition of the Holy Mother, claiming that the mayor's threat to eliminate funding is crass governmental censorship. It appears strange that not forcing the taxpayer to pay for something deemed offensive is placed in the same category as having it outlawed. This elitist argument appears to be based on the premises that all human activities are (or should be)

Whenever Jeane Kirkpatrick puts pen to paper she succumbs to an impulse to regurgitate a batch of cliches about communism and totalitarianism ("Give Aid That Stimulates, Braces, Helps Poland Build," Op-Ed Page, Nov. 2O). The lady suffers the "clucking hen syndrome," a term used to describe boring repetition of facts that are common knowledge. What Kirkpatrick and many of her fellow crusaders fail to recognize is the present momentous events in Europe point to something more than the fall of communism.

While he was enjoying a high school football game in his native Atlanta, Jodie Meeks' cell phone blew up with text messages. The Lakers had just finalized a trade that would bring them Dwight Howard. Immediately, Meeks imagined what it would be like to join a star-studded roster featuring an elite defender (Howard), an elite passer (Steve Nash), an elite scorer (Kobe Bryant) and elite post player (Pau Gasol). The thought of receiving countless open three-pointers because his teammates were double-teamed seemed so tantalizing.

This is the one thing the rest of the world had on us. They grudgingly admitted that we were dominant when it came to military, cultural, political and economic matters, but they were always smug with the knowledge that football (soccer), the one thing they are most passionate about anyway, was the one area where they had us. Much to their chagrin, this World Cup has knocked out this last bastion of arrogance. The U.S. team has proven that while they might not be among the elite of the elite (Brazil, Germany)

The possibilities leave the Lakers giddy. The options will make defenses feel helpless. It will give Lakers Coach Mike Brown a good problem to have in managing such high talent. The Lakers' starting lineup really needs no introduction. They have an elite scorer (Kobe Bryant), an elite passer (Steve Nash), an elite frontcourt (Dwight Howard, Pau Gasol) and an elite defender (Metta World Peace). Three of them have already won NBA championships (Bryant, Gasol, World Peace). Two of them have won league MVP awards (Bryant, Nash)

It's not unusual for a global city to recruit an international talent like Gustavo Dudamel to conduct its symphony orchestra. (Alan Gilbert, the new conductor of the New York Philharmonic, is the first native New Yorker to hold the post since the institution was founded in 1842.) What is unusual is how the Los Angeles orchestra is using the high-culture, Venezuelan-born wunderkind to build a rapport with this city's native-born Latino masses. Gauging from the widespread, deliriously upbeat hoopla -- and taking into account Dudamel's exceptional qualities and charisma -- maybe it'll even work.

We're at the point where any San Diego Chargers victory can be summarized in two words. This goes back to Nov. 19, when between updates I saw a 24-7 San Diego deficit against Denver turn into a 35-27 Chargers victory and I text-messaged a friend to ask what happened. My buddy's reply: "LT happened." Flash-forward to Sunday, when the Chargers had to deal with a strong Oakland Raiders defensive effort, a shaky performance by quarterback Philip Rivers and a 14-7 Raiders lead in the fourth quarter.