Emotions

Of the many things that long-term alcohol addiction can steal -- careers, lives, health, memory -- one of its most heartbreaking tolls is on relationships. Alcoholics, researchers have long known, have a tendency to misread emotional cues, sometimes taking offense when none was intended or failing to pick up on a loved one's sadness, joy, anger or disappointment. The misunderstandings can result in more drinking, and more deterioration of relationships and lives. How does alcohol do all that?

For a generation of students who share every detail of their personal lives in text messages, MySpace pages and other online postings, the college admissions chase is offering a lesson that some things are best kept private. Last December, when Brown University's early admission decisions were released online, students in one classroom at North Hollywood High's highly gifted magnet program could be heard applauding. In another, there was silence, followed by the sound of someone crying.

He's a preacher's son and part-time college student who idolizes Martin Luther King Jr. and aspires to escape Kenya's biggest slum. But when this East African nation erupted in postelection chaos, an unfamiliar rage took over inside the boyish-looking 21-year-old. "I felt like my life had been stolen," said Bernard, whose last name was withheld for his protection. "In my mind, I wanted to damage everything. I picked up a rungu [wooden club] and started to run."

The door of the charter plane lifted, and an honor guard in dress blues strode crisply across the tarmac at Palmdale Regional Airport. The only sounds were the occasional cry of crows, the flapping of American flags held straight up and the low sighs of a mother trying to keep from sobbing. Out came the flag-draped, dove-gray casket. Variations on this scene have played out more than 4,000 times, each time an American service person has been killed in Iraq. They gathered at 11:10 a.m.

For THOSE who have poured themselves a stiff cocktail at the end of an awful day -- or a spat, traffic ticket or office crisis -- it's official: You are likely trying to distract yourself from negative emotions. And if this is how you tend to respond, you're more likely to be a man than a woman. A Yale University study finds that under stress, women report more sadness and anxiety than men, but men report more craving for alcohol.

Terrorist attacks, floods, fires and other disasters aside, sometimes it can be better to just zip your lip when it comes to personal problems too. Among girls ages 8 to 14, for example, those who dwell on personal concerns with friends -- such as whether Jason likes them or why they weren't invited to Taylor's party -- are likely to be anxious and depressed, according to a study in the July 15, 2007, issue of the journal Developmental Psychology.

"The MORE [Virginia Tech students] can talk about what they've lived through, the more that they can be encouraged to emote . . . that gives them some security and insulation against burying those feelings and then having them surprise them later in life."

Social isolation is often described as "cold and lonely" -- but does it actually feel cold? New research this week says the answer is yes. Just thinking about rejection can make a person perceive a room as chillier, according to a report in the journal Psychological Science. The study, conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto, also found that people who felt isolated preferred warm drinks over cold ones -- presumably to make themselves feel better.

The charged coffeehouse conversations. The constant punching of states on computerized electoral college maps. (Florida -- red or blue?) The mesmerizing hours in front of Fox, CNN and YouTube. It's time for this to end. Across time zones and political persuasions, from north to south, anxious and exhausted Americans said Monday that they couldn't wait for the interminable, contentious presidential campaign finally to be over. It's time for them, and their country, to move on.

Accepted wisdom says that when a loved one dies, people go through five stages of grieving: disbelief, yearning, anger, depression and acceptance. Now the first large-scale study of the five stages suggests that they are accurate, and that if a person has not moved through the negative stages after six months, he or she may need professional help to deal with the bereavement. The study, published in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Assn.