Entertainment Industry Culture

So, I go rent my tux, because I'm too cheap to own one, and I rent one with a vest, because I think God's only mistake was the creation of cummerbunds, and I go to the Emmy Awards, because that's what we do out here in California--we go to award shows. I pull up in my car at the Shrine Auditorium, where a valet parker who seems eager to meet everybody recognizes immediately that I am nobody, because I would not be pulling up in my own car if I were somebody.

So, I go rent my tux, because I'm too cheap to own one, and I rent one with a vest, because I think God's only mistake was the creation of cummerbunds, and I go to the Emmy Awards, because that's what we do out here in California--we go to award shows. I pull up in my car at the Shrine Auditorium, where a valet parker who seems eager to meet everybody recognizes immediately that I am nobody, because I would not be pulling up in my own car if I were somebody.

We may never know what the jurors in the O.J. Simpson trial think of prosecution witness Brian (Kato) Kaelin. But as far as Hollywood is concerned, the verdict is already in: He's hot . . . this minute. The 36-year-old, Z-movie bit-player (who can forget him in "Hail Caesar"?) and celebrity "house guest" has become a household word. In fact, personal assistants--the gofers who cater to the stars' every need and whim--are now, thanks to Kaelin, known as "Katos."

We may never know what the jurors in the O.J. Simpson trial think of prosecution witness Brian (Kato) Kaelin. But as far as Hollywood is concerned, the verdict is already in: He's hot . . . this minute. The 36-year-old, Z-movie bit-player (who can forget him in "Hail Caesar"?) and celebrity "house guest" has become a household word. In fact, personal assistants--the gofers who cater to the stars' every need and whim--are now, thanks to Kaelin, known as "Katos."

Readers of Monday's Variety could be forgiven for thinking they had been in the dark about the biggest movie of the year. Huge letters spread across two pages in the Hollywood trade publication declared that the new James Cameron film "Aquaman," starring Vincent Chase, was the "biggest box office splash in history," racking up an astounding $116 million in its opening weekend.

You have to give soccer star David Beckham this: His contributions to the Los Angeles Galaxy on the pitch may be negligible, but he's always good for a headline in what so often seems like the Rodney Dangerfield of professional American sports. This week, there's been coast-to-coast publicity over Beckham's return to L.A. from Italy, where he's spent five months playing for AC Milan.

It's unconventional politics--by any means necessary. The list of participants alone is like a speed-dialing duel between bookers for "Hollywood Squares" and "All Things Considered." There's '60s icon Tom Hayden--and Roseanne. Preeminent black intellectual Cornell West--and singer David Crosby. Jesse Jackson--and Baba Ram Dass, counterculture czar of "Be Here Now" fame. There's acerbic literatus Gore Vidal and "Politically Incorrect" satirist Bill Maher.

Open this book and you're in familiar territory: men, women, marriage, divorce, children, sexual mores, gender roles. We've heard the catch phrases and seen the statistics: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Close to 40% of children these days are not living with the men who fathered them. Scores of books seem to come out every year addressing these topics.