Gender

Just 16 years after a Democratic president signed the fatuously named Defense of Marriage Act defining marriage as between one man and one woman, the debate over gay marriage is over. Isn't it? Even though DOMA is still on the books, even though most states that have voted on the issue have voted against gay marriage, all the energy is in the opposite direction. What seemed at first like a bizarre idea has become utterly conventional. By judicial decree interpreting the state constitution, by act of the legislature and someday soon by popular referendum, one state after another is falling.

Ann Romney is on the record: She would like to see a woman as her husband's running mate. And so would any number of Republicans who are concerned about their party's standing with female voters. But for all the excitement that the topic stirs up, don't hold your breath: It's unlikely a woman will share the spotlight at the top of the GOP ticket. It's not for lack of qualified candidates - former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Sen. Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire, Gov. Nikki Haley of South Carolina and Hewlett-Packard CEO Meg Whitman are often mentioned - but because of the tortured legacy of one former nominee: the inimitable, unpredictable, irascible and, oh yeah, female former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin.

Amber, a soft-spoken, feminine 12-year-old who loves Hello Kitty and fashion design, lives with a secret. It is a secret most sixth-graders can't fathom, one she hides behind pink skirts and makeup. It is a secret that led to all her baby pictures being tucked away as though her childhood had never happened. Amber was born a boy. When she was 10, she stopped going by her given name, Aaron, and began dressing as a girl. Last year, she started taking medication to keep her from going through puberty.

WASHINGTON -- House Republicans provoked a fresh confrontation in the ongoing battle over women's healthcare rights, but failed Thursday to win approval for a bill designed to outlaw abortions based on gender. The bill, aimed at families trying to avoid unwanted daughters, attracted the support of a majority of representatives, but failed because it was considered under a procedure normally used for uncontroversial measures. It needed the votes of two-thirds of the House. Republicans hoped to force Democrats to go along with the measure or to put them in the position of having to explain why they shot down a bill Republicans said was designed to protect women.

You may have heard of the baseball-playing girl that a conservative Catholic school's team refused to play. Now meet a 13-year-old boy who plays on a girls field-hockey team. A New York athletics committee ruled Tuesday that Keeling Pilaro, an eighth-grader, can play on the girls' varsity team at Southampton High School for at least one more season, the Associated Press reports. "I was jumping up and down; I was so excited when I heard," he told the AP. "I can play!"

Re "Vets struggle to go from war to work," April 26 Veterans are a minority group representing about 8% of our nation's population, selflessly serving on behalf of the other 92%. They pledged their lives to defend our Constitution, which protects the many freedoms we take for granted. Some delivered on that pledge, while many are disabled for life from their military injuries. AMVETS, a national veterans organization, proposed a federal law to include veterans as a protected class against employment discrimination that currently includes race, age, gender, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity.

For years, L.A.-based author Lizzie Garrett Mettler thought "tomboy" was a dirty word. "I was a definite tomboy when I was a kid," she says. "It was a nightmare for my parents to get me into a dress for a stretch of years. " As she became a teenager and young adult, she pushed that side of herself away. That changed when she started reading street fashion blogs like the Sartorialist and A Cup of Jo, and saw comments from readers who couldn't get enough of Alexa Chung and Lou Doillon's "tomboy style.

Relaxed yet lively, the byplay in "Think Like a Man" has some of the spark of director Tim Story's "Barbershop" a decade ago. The movie may be the very definition of contrivance, coming as it does from the blithely sexist relationship guide "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" co-written by radio host and comedian Steve Harvey. Considering its source, though, one of the more unpromising comedies of the year has turned out to be pretty funny. Few bestsellers ever got that way underestimating the American public's taste for generalities about the gender wars.

What a girl wants: Maybe romance. Marriage would be great. Kids? Awesome. But increasingly these days, a top priority for young women is also their careers, so much so that they're surpassing even their male counterparts in their desire to make a buck. Two-thirds of gals aged 18 to 34 said that advancing in their profession and making good money was very important, if not one of the most important things in their lives. Less than six in 10 young men said the same, according to a report this week from the Pew Research Center . Fifteen years ago, only 56% of young women felt the same way, compared to nearly the same number of men. Among older women, 42% now value their careers highly, compared to just 26% in 1997.

A friend of mine had his name in the paper the other day. It was in an article speculating about who might inherit a prestigious post in the literary world when the current grandee retires. The article said that my friend would have led the list 10 years ago. Ouch! The obvious though unstated implication is that now he's too old. He just turned 60. He says he already has his dream job and didn't mind the idea that, because he is 60, some career opportunities have moved beyond his reach.