Gray Hair

You squint into the mirror in the morning, your eyes trying to adjust to the harsh bathroom light. Hesitantly, you take a brush to your hair. And, there it is . Around one or both temples, perhaps radiating up the side of your head. If you're male, you might see it at the top of your sideburns. Gray hair. Not just a few, but enough to be inescapably--undeniably--noticeable.

It was quite a picture. In the foreground on Heliotrope Avenue in Hollywood stood theater designer Robert Zentis wearing shiny black patent leather shoes, white pants and an even whiter cotton top, his balding head highlighted by an explosion of curly gray hair. In the background, the Heliotrope Theatre facade was a painted fantasia of rainbows, floating bubbles, candy-colored ocean vistas and psychedelic skyscapes. Zentis held a mock-up of the facade in his hand.

From hair-color treatments to Botox to surgical "mommy makeovers," it seems there is no limit to the ways women can try to hold on to their fading youth. But are these healthy self-improvements or simply vain attempts to look younger? It depends on whether women can accept that aging is a natural part of life, says Vivian Diller, a New York City psychologist and coauthor of the 2010 book "Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change. " In a recent interview, the 58-year-old former model and ballet dancer discussed ways that women can achieve a healthy self-image as they get older.

I am making a statement tantamount to a terminal patient raising her hand in protest and announcing, "No more treatments!" Mine is not over something life-threatening, though. After 13 years of it, I am just saying "no" to color: Let the gray grow in! "Aren't you afraid you'll look like 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' -- ancient overnight?" asks one Southern California friend. "But you'll look older!" protests another. Guess what? I am older. And I'm tired of trying so hard to deny it.

Paul Newman, who does not give out autographs, was riding his motorbike along the fence at a recent Indy car race when he noticed a spectator waving a piece of paper at him. "Hey, fella, can you get Mario [Andretti] to sign this for me?" the fan yelled through the fence. The Oscar-winning actor and car owner couldn't resist. He took the paper, rode his bike to the garage, got Andretti's autograph and returned with it. "Hey, thanks, pal," the fan said.

In Monday's article "What's Not Happening at the Pavilion" (by Mike Boehm), Music Center board of directors chair Andrea Van de Kamp says: "We can serve aging gray hairs or be thoughtful and get the kind of diversity and intensity we want the center to represent." Diversity and loss of hair color are not mutually exclusive, Ms. Van de Kamp. My graying head has seen great "diversity" (ethnic and gender-based) among "aging gray hairs" loyally attending L.A. Philharmonic concerts at the Pavilion for decades.

As women age, they find themselves at greater risk of developing a variety of health problems. Should osteopenia be one of them? The condition was recognized nearly 20 years ago by the World Health Organization as a potential precursor to osteoporosis, a severe thinning of the bones that can lead to increased risk of bone fracture. The idea was that women whose bones had started to thin could take action to reverse the trend before it was too late. Osteopenia is identified by comparing a woman's bone density with that of a "young healthy adult" at peak bone density, around age 30. The problem is, all women — and, to a lesser extent, men — begin to lose bone mass in midlife after the natural renewal process plateaus.

Washing that gray right out of your hair (to borrow from the famous song) is no longer a mandatory part of getting older. So asserts a growing cadre of American women who are embracing their naturally silver hair tones. Letting tresses go gray (or white or salt-and-pepper) may not be the Hollywood way, but it's become a hot topic for real women all over the country. Seeds of a colossal shift in thinking — away from the arcane preconception that going gray means "letting yourself go" — have already taken root.

Denise Arant was so on target. My husband and I could spot each character. We don't live in a condo, and she gives 10 good reasons why! MR. and MRS. S. G. WIMBISH Arcadia