Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag: An article in today's Calendar section about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of MTV's "The Hills" says that Montag came to Los Angeles in August 1985. It was 2005.

The TABLOID world -- led by the magazine Us Weekly, along with the paradigm-exploding websites TMZ and Perezhilton.com -- is simultaneously bursting and flat. Bursting, in the sense that these media spill over with several dozen characters whose ongoing stories are meticulously and minutely dispensed to readers in the same lurid and addicting manner that a 19th century Penny Dreadful once was.

Heidi Montag: An article last Sunday about Montag and Spencer Pratt of MTV's "The Hills" said she came to Los Angeles in August 1985. It was 2005.

There is nothing in this life to prepare a person to review "Heidi 4 Paws," which premieres on KCET Sunday morning. When my editor handed it to me with a gleam in her eye, she said: "It's Heidi. With dogs." I was confused. Did Heidi Klum have a new reality show involving dogs? Had Heidi Montag snagged a canine Christmas special? "No, it's the story 'Heidi.' With dogs." I began to feel bovine in my incomprehension. "Heidi" with dogs instead of goats? "No, the dogs play all the characters."