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HOME & GARDEN
November 6, 2010 | Chris Erskine
I packed Grandma away with the Halloween decorations the other day. Honest mistake. You know how it goes; you get a little rhythm going and pretty soon you're just throwing everything in the box, boom-boom-boom. Fortunately, my wife heard Grandma yelling from the box in the basement later in the day. Seriously, she couldn't have been down there more than a few hours. "What's that?" Posh asked. "Just my stomach," I said. "Mom?!!" So, we unpacked the old heirloom and plopped her on a stool near the kitchen TV. Nobody was really to blame, of course, yet Posh seemed a little frosted over the whole episode.
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HOME & GARDEN
February 19, 2011 | Chris Erskine
The thing about men doing chores around the house is that when we are done, a simple "thank you" will not suffice. What we really want ? and expect ? are a parade and ceremony involving government dignitaries, beauty queens and an F-16 flyover. After that, a catered lunch is in order, some short speeches about the man's selflessness and dedication, and a modest cash grant. That's about it. Maybe they could name a school after him, but that's only for really special chores ? like laundry or bathing the kids.
HOME & GARDEN
August 20, 2010
Regarding "Incredible Lightness," the July 31 cover article on a Venice house brightened by skylights, glass walls and glass flooring: Several big problems come to mind with all those creative openings. They undoubtedly give the house an eerie look and feel at night and let in too much light for sleeping. All that sunshine fades the furniture and furnishings. The heating and air conditioning bill must be astronomical. Enjoy your clever design. Stephany Yablow North Hollywood Architect Dennis Gibbens responds: Actually, the amount of glass and skylights means that I don't have to have supplemental lighting during the daytime.
HOME & GARDEN
October 15, 2011 | Chris Erskine
For me, exasperation is a form of exercise. You should've seen me at the soccer game Saturday, big gasping breaths as if drowning. I recommend it to anyone looking to lose a few pounds while tiptoeing the fine line between sanity and suburbia. "You look like you've lost weight," our friend Barbara said after the game. "I'm mostly wasting away," I explained. "You look good," she said. Thanks. The team performed well, except that in the second quarter I realized that my players seemed unable to run sideways.
HOME & GARDEN
September 7, 2011 | By Lauren Beale, Los Angeles Times
Reality TV star Lauren Conrad has listed a Sunset Strip-area home for sale at $2.25 million. The renovated 1920s Spanish-style house was featured on MTV's "The Hills. " Entered through a gated courtyard, the 3,000-square-foot home has wrought-iron work, an original Spanish tile floor, four bedrooms and 31/2 bathrooms. There is a lap pool and an outdoor fireplace. Security includes 10 cameras. Since her stint on "The Hills" (2006-09), the 25-year-old Conrad has started two fashion lines and written several books.
HOME & GARDEN
October 8, 2011 | Chris Erskine
Like that revelatory moment when martinis start to taste good or summer turns with one chill breeze to fall, that's how chicken farming entered my synapses — synap, crackle, pop. Our friends Mitch and Teresa were taking the kids on vacation for a few weeks, leaving their pre-pubescent hens in the hands of several neighbors, who tag-teamed the task. One neighbor one week, another the next. I found our stint with the chickens just long enough to fall in love with the whole concept.
HOME & GARDEN
February 26, 2011 | Chris Erskine
You know that IBM computer that won at "Jeopardy!" recently? I wonder if it can be reprogrammed for marriage. Here's the question I would ask it: What is the correct answer when a husband struggles to help his wife zip up a tight evening dress and she asks, "Is it the zipper or is it me?" Millions of years of human misery go into crafting that response correctly. I'd like to see Watson answer that one. Or, how about: "They have such a nice house. " Whenever my wife Posh and I go somewhere new, she always comes home saying, "They have such a nice house.
HOME & GARDEN
January 15, 2011 | Chris Erskine
We decided to finally put Christmas away when the little guy directed his remote control Apache chopper into a trio of ceramic angels his mother loved. Angels are pretty defenseless in such situations, singing "The Messiah" with their chins up. The little copter's rotors caught them right in the songbooks. Ouch. The angels ? I named them Curly, Moe and Larry ? could only fire back with their dark ceramic eyes as the little chopper plowed into them, accidentally, we think, though the investigation is still in progress.
HOME & GARDEN
December 24, 2011 | Chris Erskine
So Christmas is finally upon us. We surrender to it the way disoriented French soldiers used to surrender to thunderstorms, humbled and with arms pointing to the sky. "Please, God, no more boom-boom-boom. Merci . " I was in Target the other day, not long, only seven or eight hours, a soldier on his last legs looking for where they hid the ground coffee. One of the things you've probably noticed about L.A. store clerks, particularly now, is that they will not ever look you in the eye. It's like you're a spirit, an angel, an abstraction — something they cannot see nor fathom.
HOME & GARDEN
October 9, 2010 | By Lauren Beale, Los Angeles Times
"Glee" mastermind Ryan Murphy has purchased actress Diane Keaton's Spanish Colonial Revival in Beverly Hills for an undisclosed amount, public records show. Keaton restored the Ralph Flewelling-designed hacienda, which she bought in 2007 for $8.1 million. It first came on the market in March 2009 priced at $12,995,000 and was most recently priced at $10.95 million. It could be months before the prices of September sales appear on public records. The courtyard-style house, built in 1927, has an oversized front door that opens to a hall with a library.
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