Irvine Improv

Men are pigs. That's the launching point for Tim Allen's stand-up act. In Allen's world, the men gather round to grunt approvingly at the new lawn mower on the block. They track grease through the house as a way of marking territory, and turn a visit to the tool department at Sears into some kind of religious/sexual pilgrimage. If the household dusting were left to Allen, he would duct-tape all those annoying knickknacks down and fire up the leaf blower.

Funnyman Jon Lovitz is adding one more credential to his comedy and acting resume: comedy club owner. His new venue, the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club, is scheduled to open in late May at the former B.B. King's on Universal CityWalk. But Lovitz doesn't want his to be just one more club in Los Angeles; he wants to stand out. The solution? A Hawaiian theme. "I love Hawaii!" he said. "This will be completely different from any other club -- you will hear the ocean." And the twists don't end there.

Improv owner Mark Anderson clearly remembers that the Irvine club's opening night eight years ago had room for improvement. The fire was a close call. The room was doing what they label a soft opening, a trial run to work out the bugs before Jerry Seinfeld headlined the official opening. "The fiascoes are the funnest things," the personable Anderson said while munching a salad last week in Santa Ana.

Give UC Irvine's schedule-maker an "A" for effort. The Anteaters took 10 days off for final exams, then closed out their five-game, season-opening homestand Wednesday night with a 97-60 victory over winless UC San Diego at the Bren Center. It was the most points scored by Irvine since a 99-70 victory over Nevada in the 1993-94 season and the victory gave the Anteaters (4-1) their best start in 18 years.

If you're a serious comedy fan, mark your calendar for Monday; if you already have plans, you might want to consider clearing your calendar. What's the big deal about Monday? To celebrate its second anniversary, the Irvine Improvisation has assembled possibly the strongest lineup of stand-up talent ever to grace a local stage: Allan Havey, Ritch Shydner, Ellen DeGeneres, George Wallace and Pat Hazell.

Dennis Wolfberg has had a great run in his years on the club circuit because he's never rubbed our faces in his psychic lesions or wasted our time with unremarkable comment posing as discovery. He's obeyed an older show-biz maxim. As Shelley Berman said: You owe them something. He's a good guy to have around when you need a laugh, as God knows we all do right now.

The chances of Bobby Slayton ever being keynote speaker for the NAACP are about the same as his addressing a NOW convention. * It just isn't going to happen, unless the audience is given free guns and unlimited ammunition. Tuesday night at the Irvine Improv, the acerbic comedian again underscored his basic right to insult and demean all creeds and colors. That's fine. As long as he isn't playing favorites, we can forgive him his sins.

Joe Rogan, the loopy technician who can fix anything on NBC-TV's "NewsRadio," steps out of character--waaaaay out of character--in his stand-up act, which he brings to the Irvine Improv through Sunday. Unlike the somewhat dopey, genial guy he plays in the series, Rogan displays a caustic, edgy wit that knows few bounds. * Irvine Improv, 4255 Campus Drive. 8:30 and 10:30 tonight, 8 and 10:30 p.m. Saturday, 8 p.m. Sunday. $10-$12. (949) 854-5455.

Don't Smoke, Just Joke: The Irvine Improv presents "A Comedy Show That Kicks Ash" when no-smoking comedy nights begin at the club May 16. No butts about it, the Improv will continue to promote healthy laughter with no-smoking nights the first Wednesday of each month; the next few shows are on June 6, July 11 and Aug. 1.

ANYTIME Sundays: Workaholic Jay Leno continues appearing virtually every Sunday night at the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. Thursdays: Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Wayne Brady and Greg Proops keep their improv act sharp and try routines that may turn up on their ABC-TV series, "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Thursdays at the Hollywood Improv. Fridays, beginning Sept.

Comedian Bill Engvall wasn't sorry to see the end of the '90s, a decade in which you couldn't just order a cup of coffee--it had to be a latte or an espresso--and "awesome" was the word du jour. The only problem, Engvall says onstage, is that we were using the word wrong: "We were saying stuff like 'Ooh, your car is awesome." Or "Your yard looks awesome."

When the Irvine Improv moves to the Irvine Spectrum Center in November, owner Robert Hartman is hoping to attract a bigger, broader and more appropriate customer base for the 12-year-old comedy club. "The center we're in right now is turning into more of a student-based center, and most of our audience is a little bit older, probably 25 to 45," Hartman said of the current venue in the Marketplace restaurant, theater and retail center across from UC Irvine.

Joe Rogan, the loopy technician who can fix anything on NBC-TV's "NewsRadio," steps out of character--waaaaay out of character--in his stand-up act, which he brings to the Irvine Improv through Sunday. Unlike the somewhat dopey, genial guy he plays in the series, Rogan displays a caustic, edgy wit that knows few bounds. * Irvine Improv, 4255 Campus Drive. 8:30 and 10:30 tonight, 8 and 10:30 p.m. Saturday, 8 p.m. Sunday. $10-$12. (949) 854-5455.

UC Irvine, a work in progress on the basketball court, experienced a small step forward for the first time this season. The Anteaters repeated many of the same mistakes that have plagued them this season in a 69-59 loss to Nevada Las Vegas Saturday. But the things they did right were almost enough for a victory. The Rebels (4-0) needed a 18-3 run in the second half to overtake Irvine (0-4) in front of 2,098 at the Bren Center. The run erased a 48-40 Anteater lead.

MOVIES: "Mulholland Falls" is all crude energy, a neo-noir about tough cop Nick Nolte investigating the death of a young woman in 1950s Los Angeles. It owes a lot to the classic, more persuasive "Chinatown," but is an example of brutal, effective filmmaking. And Jean-Claude Van Damme scores on both sides of the camera with "The Quest" as star and director of this rousing martial arts adventure-odyssey that culminates in an awesome martial arts tournament held in the "Lost City" of Tibet in 1925.

ANYTIME Sundays: Workaholic Jay Leno continues appearing virtually every Sunday night at the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. Thursdays: Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Wayne Brady and Greg Proops keep their improv act sharp and try routines that may turn up on their ABC-TV series, "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Thursdays at the Hollywood Improv. Fridays, beginning Sept.

When the Irvine Improv moves to the Irvine Spectrum Center in November, owner Robert Hartman is hoping to attract a bigger, broader and more appropriate customer base for the 12-year-old comedy club. "The center we're in right now is turning into more of a student-based center, and most of our audience is a little bit older, probably 25 to 45," Hartman said of the current venue in the Marketplace restaurant, theater and retail center across from UC Irvine.

Louie Anderson grew up dysfunctional, the 10th of 11 kids raised by an alcoholic father. The effects were not lost on him. Fat jokes ("My first words were 'Seconds, please' ") may have launched the portly young man into comedy, but family material ("my dad never hit us when I was a kid--he carried a gun") took him to the next level, and his concern for others keeps him looking for humor in all the wrong places. More and more, Anderson finds himself looking at life's serious side.

Improv owner Mark Anderson clearly remembers that the Irvine club's opening night eight years ago had room for improvement. The fire was a close call. The room was doing what they label a soft opening, a trial run to work out the bugs before Jerry Seinfeld headlined the official opening. "The fiascoes are the funnest things," the personable Anderson said while munching a salad last week in Santa Ana.