Jack Nicholson

He was the Joker in "Batman," but actor Jack Nicholson said he wasn't fooling around when he said in "A Few Good Men" that there was nothing sexier than saluting a woman. Nicholson, who is backing Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton for president, took his endorsement to the Internet on Saturday with a humorous collection of clips that put his support into the mouths of his most famous film characters. "And now, folks, it's time for who do you trust. Hubba, hubba, hubba.

Is Jack Nicholson playing Lex Luthor in the next "Superman" movie? Maybe he'll be Daddy Warbucks in a remake of "Annie." Or perhaps he's going for the same hairstyle as Britney Spears. Turns out the shaved head he sported at the Academy Awards on Sunday night was just devotion to craft.

THE miraculous thing about Jack Nicholson is that he can make even schmaltz entertaining. Perhaps it's the deep-in-the-bone sense of mischief that courses through many of his performances. Some screw is permanently loose, leading to such whacked-out delights as "The Shining," the nastiness in "Five Easy Pieces," the raunchy rebelliousness of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and "Terms of Endearment," even the surly focus of "Chinatown."

For the last week, I've been intimately involved with Jack Nicholson. He's both a charmer and a cliche. Passionate about truth in his art and a mendacious hypocrite in real life. Wildly generous, yet appallingly parsimonious. A pothead and a fine art collector. A priapic satyr and a romantic fool. I now have a singular insight into Nicholson. But I haven't a clue about the real man behind the joker's mask.

Who needs a driving range? Not Jack Nicholson. He just hits yellow range balls -- lots and lots of them -- off a mat into the canyon in back of his hillside Beverly Hills home. He buys them in bulk from Lakeside Golf Club in Toluca Lake, where he is a member. "If you've ever hit range balls at Lakeside, you might have hit one that ended up on my porch," Nicholson told Golf Digest. He says he has hit thousands off his porch.

JACK doesn't do hugs. The iconic bad boy -- do we even need to mention his last name? -- isn't one for playing false palsy-walsy for the cameras, and on a recent afternoon, he was vaguely peeved that the photographer for The Times suggested that he sling his arm around Morgan Freeman for a portrait of public bonhomie. It's clear why the photographer would like a shot like that.

It might be the Clippers' finest moment, the team getting ready for a playoff game and the city's No. 1 Lakers fan flying here to witness it. I thought Donald Sterling was going to knock me over in his rush to touch Jack Nicholson, Jack backing away rather than giving Sterling his best work from "The Shining," which meant Sterling put his hands on me. Talk about taking one for the team.

IT'S a jungle out there. And we can blame it on Jack Nicholson. Not only are Louis Vuitton, Valentino, Dolce & Gabbana and Roger Vivier releasing wild leopard-print slouch bags and satchels this awards season but some fashion-forward actresses -- and such uber-trendsetters as Vogue editor Anna Wintour and stylist Rachel Zoe -- are already on the prowl in slinky leopard-print silk dresses, coats, blouses and even Ugg-style boots, platform heels, long scarves and belts.

Which of these actors-turned-writers in the last few years made the better film? A. EMILIO ESTEVEZ B. SOFIA COPPOLA C. GEORGE CLOONEY Log on to TheEnvelope.com to vote. * Last week's results on which high-profile actor should lend his voice to an animated feature: Leonardo DiCaprio 72.1% Jack Nicholson 15% Clive Owen 12.9%

Americans love psychopaths. From the sideways smile of a Jack Nicholson character to classier figures we'd never name as such: Scarlett O'Hara, who used people like tissues; Jay Gatsby, who didn't see why being a con man should keep him out of high society; and Heathcliff, that violent daydream of every bookish teen girl. We love those glittering, undeniable charismatics, who couldn't give a damn about us. Conscience is a barrier to glory. Psychopaths are our superheroes.