October 1, 1995 |
"Perfect fit!" "Unbelievable synergy!" "Both sides win!" Today's bombshell announcement that India and Brazil will merge to form the world's fourth-largest such entity is being greeted with hosannas by leading analysts on six continents. "Just look how they line up," exults one New York geopolitical analyst. "Both are hot, both have big rivers running through them. India loves cows and Brazil's cattle industry currently has a 45% overcapacity.
CALIFORNIA | LOCAL
July 31, 1988 |
Doctors in Canada and Europe have used electrically generated shock waves to smash painful and often dangerous inoperable gallstones wedged in the bile duct, a researcher reported. "We are very encouraged by the initial success. We know the technique works and has no immediate side effects. But we don't know what will happen 10 years hence," said Dr. Laszlo Fried, associate professor of radiology at Dalhousie University Medical School in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
November 26, 1995 |
House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.) inaugurated the first Thanksgetting Day in American history last Thursday, inviting 200 relatives, staffers, lobbyists, defense contractors, snake handlers and speakers-in-tongues to a $5,000-a-plate "return to sanity" Thanksgetting Day dinner, symbolically held in the executive dining room of MegaCorp Inc., the tobacco, firearm and savings-and-loan conglomerate.
October 20, 1996 |
Verbatim transcripts from America's hottest political debates of years past. Aaron Burr-Alexander Hamilton, 1804 B: Bang! H: Bang! James Madison-De Witt Clinton, 1812 C: My learned friend, Mr. Madison, I observe, has had a street in New York City named after him. M: Aye, sir, and 'tis an honor. C: Mayhap, good citizens, you should know Madison's Avenue as I do. 'Tis infested with slippery agents in gray flannel britches who would fair drive us mad, peddling wooden-teeth soaps and such nostrums.
November 20, 1994 |
Missing in the flurry of words responding to Charles Murray's and Richard Herrnstein's new book, "The Bell Curve," in which they suggest a racial IQ hierarchy (Asians and whites at the top, followed by Latinos and blacks), are these two: "So what!"
December 11, 1994 |
Dear Occupant: We've already placed your five-year subscription order in the hands of our collection agency: That's how sure we are that that's how much you'll love it. Wait a darn minute, you say. What is it? It's Waiting Room--The Magazine You'd Swear You've Read Before! And believe it or not, the subscription price has been slashed by 20% just since you began reading this letter! Profiles of recently dead celebrities . . . predictions of things that have already happened . . .
June 7, 2000 |
If you want to see a questionable double standard at work, look at the widely disparate American attitudes toward Russia's new president, Vladimir V. Putin, and Chinese President Jiang Zemin. In the United States these days, and particularly among foreign policy elites, Putin is darkly portrayed as the vintage apparatchik, the mysterious ex-KGB man who threatens Russian liberties. Meanwhile, Jiang is often depicted as a closet reformer who may some day slowly move China in the right direction.
September 24, 1999 |
Nonny de la Pen~a's "The Jaundiced Eye," a documentary chronicling a terrible miscarriage of justice strung out over a decade, is a real-life family horror story. A father and son in a quaint, Norman Rockwell-like Michigan town are caught between a collision of two emotionally charged forces in American society: a lingering homophobia and a growing concern about child abuse.
January 7, 1996 |
Sen. Huff: Mr. Pangloss, thank you for appearing here this morning. I yield to my colleague, the distinguished . . . Sen. Dudgeon: Sir, at last report "The Wizard of Oz" was responsible for more than 200 Midwestern schoolchildren, from 1939 to the present, running out of storm cellars and right into the eyes of tornadoes and cyclones. Mr. Pangloss: Well, senator, I'd like to-- Dudgeon: I don't care what you'd . . .