CALIFORNIA | LOCAL
July 31, 1988 |
Doctors in Canada and Europe have used electrically generated shock waves to smash painful and often dangerous inoperable gallstones wedged in the bile duct, a researcher reported. "We are very encouraged by the initial success. We know the technique works and has no immediate side effects. But we don't know what will happen 10 years hence," said Dr. Laszlo Fried, associate professor of radiology at Dalhousie University Medical School in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
October 20, 1996 |
Verbatim transcripts from America's hottest political debates of years past. Aaron Burr-Alexander Hamilton, 1804 B: Bang! H: Bang! James Madison-De Witt Clinton, 1812 C: My learned friend, Mr. Madison, I observe, has had a street in New York City named after him. M: Aye, sir, and 'tis an honor. C: Mayhap, good citizens, you should know Madison's Avenue as I do. 'Tis infested with slippery agents in gray flannel britches who would fair drive us mad, peddling wooden-teeth soaps and such nostrums.
September 17, 1995 |
Following are excerpts from what Sen. Bob Packwood (R-Ore.) now claims to be his secret "real" diaries, discovered under the mattress yesterday while moving out of his Washington apartment after he resigned from the Senate. Jan. 4 Why won't Miss ---------- leave me alone??? She followed me home again tonight! Invited herself in for a nightcap but didn't want warm milk and crackers and left in a huff when I brought out my National Geographics. Women! Jan.
December 11, 1994 |
Dear Occupant: We've already placed your five-year subscription order in the hands of our collection agency: That's how sure we are that that's how much you'll love it. Wait a darn minute, you say. What is it? It's Waiting Room--The Magazine You'd Swear You've Read Before! And believe it or not, the subscription price has been slashed by 20% just since you began reading this letter! Profiles of recently dead celebrities . . . predictions of things that have already happened . . .
September 24, 1999 |
Nonny de la Pen~a's "The Jaundiced Eye," a documentary chronicling a terrible miscarriage of justice strung out over a decade, is a real-life family horror story. A father and son in a quaint, Norman Rockwell-like Michigan town are caught between a collision of two emotionally charged forces in American society: a lingering homophobia and a growing concern about child abuse.
January 7, 1996 |
Sen. Huff: Mr. Pangloss, thank you for appearing here this morning. I yield to my colleague, the distinguished . . . Sen. Dudgeon: Sir, at last report "The Wizard of Oz" was responsible for more than 200 Midwestern schoolchildren, from 1939 to the present, running out of storm cellars and right into the eyes of tornadoes and cyclones. Mr. Pangloss: Well, senator, I'd like to-- Dudgeon: I don't care what you'd . . .
April 28, 1996 |
To Our Patrons: We are pleased to extend the auction of the effects of the late Mrs. Onassis to include a Garage Sale, consisting of several lots of incalculable personal and historical value just uncovered in a final sweep of attics, basements, lockers and closets. The notice of bidders is drawn to: Lot No. 4268 Two unopened cans of Tab Cola dated between 1963 and 1964, recovered from a cooler stored at the Kennedy family compound at Hyannisport, Mass.
January 1, 1995 |
What's in store for the New Year? From think-tank gurus and elder statesmen alike, from seasoned forecasters to the man in the street, the predictions are in. And if there's any definite early word on Anno Domini 1995, it's that time alone will tell. Will interest rates continue their upward climb? "I wish I had a crystal ball," says one prominent economist.
December 25, 1994 |
Lead me down every path of preposterous math In the tax games, however off chancy. Then I'll watch film at 10 of the Newt's purple wrath Over each Clinton sin he can fancy. I'll scan every paper, tune in every station For visions of woe that won't go 'way, If media all grant my one supplication: I don't want to hear about O.J. * Oh, I beg to be spared as each new scrap is bared And you newsies nose 'round for some meaning.