Jokes

Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn't peeling well. Robert, 11 Los Feliz Elementary, Los Angeles -- Why couldn't the flower ride a bike? Its petals [pedals] were too short. Wardah, 9 Handy Elementary, Orange -- Kids, send us your funny jokes and puzzling riddles.

What do you get when you cross an ant with a tic? Antics! Carina, 12 Oxford Academy Cypress What did one pencil say to the other? You're looking sharp! Jen, 7 Silver Spur Elementary Rancho Palos Verdes

Ever wonder what would happen if you locked some screenwriters in a room with a history of man, an Old Testament, some really potent pot and a tape recorder? Ever wonder what would happen if that were made into a movie? "Year One," the new buddy comedy starring Jack Black and Michael Cera, seems to be trying to answer these burning questions in this turn-back-the-clock, take-a-look-at-our- ancestors fable with fart jokes.

DENVER -- And now it comes down to two words, two desperate words, the two danged words the Lakers never thought they would have to utter while toying with these Rocky Mountain munchkins and misfits. Game Seven. The Lakers never dreamed it, but now they must live it, a worst-case scenario, a last-ditch situation, one game to save this misguided season against a Denver Nuggets team that should already be starting its summer. Shame Seven. The Lakers made the least of their second chance to close out this first-round playoff series Thursday night, dominated for a second consecutive game by the Nuggets, this beating a serious one, a 113-96 loss that was even worse than it sounded.

A roundup of entertainment headlines for Monday. Miley Cyrus laughed about being a "stoner," but a rep says it was only a joke. ( Access Hollywood ) Christian Bale says "The Dark Knight Rises" is his last go-round as Batman. ( Los Angeles Times ) Chaz Bono finally got an engagement ring for his fiancee, Jennifer Elia. ( Los Angeles Times ) Director Ken Russell has died. Right now, the angels are cavorting naked. ( Los Angeles Times ) Now you can own actual Dunder-Mifflin paper from "The Office.

I am gathering material for a book on English-language jokes. There will be sections on Australian, Canadian, Irish, South African, West Indian, New Zealand and, of course, U. S. jokes. It is the type of humor, rather than quality, that I am seeking . . . the kind of jokes ordinary Americans crack at work or over a beer . . . so don't think your sample may be too old. ERIC FIRTH 14 Wellington St. Wilsden West Yorkshire England

I don't know about you, but I'm having a blast. I'm not in the pit that is Memphis, don't have to document Andrew Bynum's juvenile behavior and I can't imagine having more fun at a Clippers game. And until recently I'm not sure anyone could even imagine having fun at a Clippers game, let alone its ending in a playoff victory. This was Clippers playoff win No. 6 in the franchise's history in Staples Center, Chris Paul and Blake Griffin now one for one in winning playoff games at home as Clippers.

WASHINGTON -- If the White House Correspondents' Dinner was any indication, all it takes to get a room packed with journalists and celebrities laughing is a series of jokes about eating dogs, the size of Mitt Romney's bank account and Kim Kardashian's attendance. The dinner, a celebration of Washington journalists, is complete with awards for excellent coverage and scholarships for aspiring reporters, but what ends up taking all of the headlines is the president's humorous address and the subsequent comedic routine by the host.

WASHINGTON -- The 98th annual White House Correspondents' Dinner, held Saturday evening at the Washington Hilton, is intended to celebrate those journalists who inform the American public about important events and discussions in the nation's capital. But the focus eventually ends up being the self-deprecating speech by the president and the subsequent address by a notable comedian. This year was no different, with President Obama and late-night host Jimmy Kimmel cracking wise about Republicans, Democrats, the media and more.

During a closed-door session with Los Angeles County supervisors last fall, California Gov. Jerry Brown made a comment acknowledging that there would be questions about whether the group was violating the law. According to a transcript obtained by The Times, the governor said at one point during the meeting, "Let's get our Brown Act cover story. " He was referring to the state's open-meetings law, the Ralph M. Brown Act. Moments later, then-County Counsel Andrea Sheridan Ordin noted that reporters who questioned the legality of the meeting - which indeed was later ruled illegal - were waiting outside.