Jon And Kate

I would like many things. I would like a large four-bedroom ranch home to fall on Jon and Kate. I would like my life to be more like Bollywood. I wish my hair could talk. These things are not going to happen. Indeed, I could spend this column and the next listing all the things I desire but am not going to get: a 1-meter telescope; a poodle with a knowledge of fine wine. Somebody stop me.

Even by reality television standards, the showdown in the Season 1 finale of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" was epic: A furious Teresa Giudice screamed at fellow cast member Danielle Staub that she was a "prostitution whore," then yanked a table into the air, sending dishes crashing to the ground. Watching the drama were Staub's noticeably alarmed daughters, then 11 and 15, whose mother had kept them in the room for the exchange. New Jersey prohibits minors from appearing in entertainment productions dangerous to their "life, limb, health or morals."

With a touch of emotion in his voice and a bit of dampness in his eyes, Jay Leno on Friday said his final farewell to "The Tonight Show," NBC's top-rated late-night franchise that he hosted for 17 years. Leno, who will return to the network this fall in a nightly 10 p.m. comedy series, combined his characteristic casual lightness with thanks to viewers, staffers, supporters and his wife, Mavis, who was in the audience.

Get ready for a reality show version of "Big Love." TLC, the cable network behind hits "Jon & Kate Plus 8" and "19 Kids and Counting," is hoping to strike ratings gold again with "Sister Wives," a series about a polygamist family in Utah that will premiere in September. Much like the HBO drama "Big Love," which follows a polygamist and his three wives, "Sister Wives" is about Kody and his wives Meri, Janelle and Christine and their 13 kids. Unlike "Big Love's" Bill Henrickson, though, Kody is looking to add to his family by taking on a fourth wife, Robyn, who has three children of her own. For TLC, "Sister Wives" will likely generate a little controversy, but the network is no stranger to that.

Janice Min, editor in chief of US Weekly magazine, was on vacation in Colorado when news of the biggest celebrity death since, well, Farrah Fawcett's a few hours earlier, started her cellphone ringing. And ringing and ringing and ringing. Min, who was driving, didn't pick up, but she glanced at her incoming e-mails. "Oh my God, I got like 40 e-mails in 60 seconds," said Min, whose holiday evaporated with news of Michael Jackson's death this week. "I haven't been out of my hotel room since."

Tucci to direct on Broadway Stanley Tucci's movie career has officially shifted into high gear. He is racking up acting nominations for his role in the film adaptation of "The Lovely Bones," including nods this week from the Golden Globes and the Screen Actors Guild. But his next big job will be on stage. Or more accurately, behind the scenes. Tucci is set to direct the Broadway revival of "Lend Me a Tenor," which will open April 4 at the Music Box Theater in New York. The production will star frequent Tucci collaborator Tony Shalhoub as well as Anthony LaPaglia, Brooke Adams and Jan Maxwell.

"Heaven and hell" is how Eileen O'Neill describes her first year at the helm of TLC, the cable network that is home to the controversial hit reality show "Jon & Kate Plus 8." "Heaven" is TLC's spectacular growth over the last 12 months, with its prime-time audience leaping 43% and now pulling in an average of more than 1 million viewers every night.

For those who wonder what reality television would look like if it hadn't been hijacked by drama queens — Gordon Ramsay, Speidi, Jon and Kate, the assorted Housewives — or if it wasn't so obviously and ruthlessly scripted and over-produced, "Come Dine With Me," which premieres Wednesday on BBC America, is entertaining and addictive proof that less is definitely more. In various British locales — Bath, Swindon, London, etc. — four strangers each prepare a multi-course meal in his or her home for the other three.