Marriage

WASHINGTON -- President Obama said Vice President Joe Biden got "a little over his skis” on Sunday when he said he supported same-sex marriage on a morning TV talk show. But Biden did it out of a "generosity of spirit," Obama said in the full interview with ABC's Robin Roberts on "Good Morning America," broadcast today. Obama said he had already made a decision that he would affirm the right of gays and lesbians to marry and was planning to do it in advance of the election.

Can't stand your boring husband? Thinking of calling it quits? Well, you should have mustered the nerve to leave him well before this economic crisis. Now you might not be able to afford to live without him, literally. It's a well-known fact that financial woes are the biggest cause of marital spats. With the economy the way it is, you'd expect lots of husbands and wives to be at each other's throats. But the conventional wisdom is wrong.

The Louisiana Supreme Court, meeting in New Orleans, unanimously reinstated an amendment to the state constitution that blocked same-sex marriage. The amendment was overwhelmingly approved by voters in September. The high court reversed a ruling by a state district judge who had struck down the "defense of marriage" amendment in October on the grounds that the measure dealt with more than one subject, in violation of the Louisiana Constitution.

Re "Gays Engaged in a Battle for Hearts, Minds," July 26 I think it's odd that this extensive article presents "a battle for hearts and minds," yet doesn't really illuminate the purpose of the battle. This is a battle for civil marriage, which means extending more than 1,000 rights given to married, heterosexual, taxpaying citizens to all taxpaying citizens. When the Supreme Court struck down state bans on interracial marriage in 1967, the overwhelming majority of Americans did not support interracial marriage.

I feel very strongly that Proposition 22 should pass. The traditional marriage is the basis to our society and most important for the stability of the family. We should be compassionate to the gay community and they should have all of the rights afforded them in the Domestic Partners Act. It is not, however, up to the rest of the states to decide whether or not California has to recognize same-sex marriages. This is up to the citizens of California. Proposition 22 is only to close the door on others deciding for us. MARILYN JONES Canoga Park I have been able to live my life in a marriage for the last 11 years that was not recognized by my state or country.

In her column about a study of attitudes and responses that predict divorce ("Some New Math for the Happy Marriage," Aug. 14), Robin Abcarian confuses predictor with cause. A husband's walking out on a heated argument while his wife insists on continuing it is not likely the cause of future separation--merely an indicator. The cause is the insistence on doing battle. Many marriages and lives have been saved because one spouse had the good sense to get out of the house until the other had cooled off. The purpose of any fight is to destroy some aspect of the other person to at least the extent necessary to win an objective.

I found Charles Koppleman's story on Vanessa Beecroft ("A Work in Progress," May 4) very well-written. So well-written that if Beecroft read it as an outsider does, she would find the secret to herself: She is a selfish, spoiled, self-absorbed brat who has refused to grow up. Trying to adopt twins from another culture without consulting her husband is a move designed to wreck a marriage. Her lack of concern for her husband's opinion shows her to be cold and indifferent. She is not a "work in progress."

Why is it that when you see an article on single women, it is invariably written by a woman, and when you see an article on single men, it is invariably written by a woman? It's not surprising that these articles typically regard marriage as normal and bachelorhood as deviant. The article did nothing to address more pragmatic reasons for staying a bachelor, like the fact that the majority of marriages end in divorce. In the past few decades, divorce proceedings have shown that marriage is (in the eyes of the state)

Re "My Father Is Wrong on Gays," by David Knight, Commentary, Oct. 14: How tragic it is when a father rejects his own flesh and blood, as state Sen. William "Pete" Knight (R-Palmdale) has done with David because he is gay. As a mother and grandmother, I've always believed the essence of parental love to be, "I love you just as you are." The Knight initiative suggests an emotionally based personal vendetta meant to retaliate against the son who has failed to live up to a father's masculine expectations.

Re "Gender Blender: Intersexual? Transsexual? Male, female aren't so easy to define," Commentary, April 19: Eric Vilain brings up some important points regarding the futility of attempting to legislate what makes someone male or female for the sake of marriage. However, he fails to recognize that most intersex people are satisfied in the gender they were raised in, and those cases may end up being the most troubling. Many intersex people are never told the truth about genital surgeries done during childhood.