Mascots

WHEN it comes to mascots, California colleges have a bounty of Bulldogs (the University of Redlands and Fresno State, for example) and lots of Lancers (Pasadena City College and California Baptist University). There's a herd of Mustangs (the Master's College and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo), and the horsemen to go with them (Vaqueros at Glendale Community College and Gauchos at Saddleback College). But California colleges also specialize in the controversial and the strange. The Stanford Indians became the Cardinal (the color, not the bird)

He's a war hero who became a media mogul, celebrity pitchman, pop icon and philanthropist. He's so famous he was given his own ZIP Code, 20252, to handle the fan mail. He is 65 years old but has no intention of retiring. In fact, he looks fitter than ever. Working outdoors with a shovel will do that. Smokey Bear was born in August 1944, sired by a committee of ad men and government bureaucrats hoping to safeguard a key war material: wood.

Colonel Sanders, Tony the Tiger, Bob's Big Boy . . . of the many trademark faces cluttering the American inconographic landscape, few can match the audaciousness of Mad magazine's gap-toothed mascot, Alfred E. Neuman. But according to cartoon historian Mark C. Cohen, the origins of the mischievous, grinning imp have fallen out of reckoning. In fact, nobody really knows where the famous "What, me worry?" kid actually came from.

One mascot was not enough for the organizers of the Sydney Olympics, who chose three. Each cuddly creation has been charged with a specific Olympic duty. The uniquely Australian creatures are: * Syd--A duckbill platypus, a rare egg-laying mammal with the bill of a duck, the body of an otter and the tail of a beaver. Syd, who is named after the host city, will represent the athletes and communicate the Games' environmental policy.

Ruling against fans of the Birmingham High School Braves, a federal judge upheld a Los Angeles Unified School District policy Monday banning schools from using nicknames and mascots based on American Indians. The ruling by U.S. District Judge Audrey B. Collins forces the removal of dozens of paintings and logos at Birmingham High in Van Nuys, where alumni and boosters challenged the policy in an effort to save the school's mascot, adopted 45 years ago.

Kudos first to the El Camino Real High Conquistadores, national Academic Decathlon champions of 1998. They defeated the competition much as Cortez's troops defeated the Aztecs--only without the bloodshed. Congratulations also to the Granada Hills High Highlanders, who soon will compete in a stadium graced with the name of alumnus John Elway of the Denver Broncos.

In an apparent show of defiance against a court order to change the name of their school team, only 500 of 3,000 Birmingham High School students cast ballots during two days of voting that ended Monday. And, of those who did vote in the unusual campus election, many rejected the options of Blue Devils, Buccaneers, Breakers and Patriots, and instead penciled in the forbidden mascot. "I don't like any of the choices," said Geri Hirsch, 14, of Tarzana. "We should stay with the Braves."

The popular Chihuahua featured in Taco Bell Corp.'s commercials is turning into an attack dog in a print and television advertising campaign pitching the chain's Gorditas tacos as tastier fare than Burger King's Whopper sandwich. Taco Bell spokeswoman Laurie Gannon said market research conducted in recent years "shows that the Whopper is the gold standard for hamburgers among our customers. Now we're saying that Gorditas' taste beats that standard."

There are times when our most cherished liberties hinge on such weighty questions as this: Does a man in a chicken suit have the right to mock one dressed as a TV dinosaur? This is such a time. And the call goes to the chicken.