Orlando Magic Basketball Team

We probably won't know who has been actually coaching the Lakers this series until Phil's next book is published. Right now the best we can do is offer congrats to Coach Phil & Coach Kobe and thanks to the Magic for playing as if it has never been coached to win a big game. The guy coaching the Magic was so outclassed against the likes of Coaches Phil & Kobe, he was playing a rusty Jameer Nelson with the game on the line.

Hey, wow, Orlando's in town . . . sort of. The sequence of events tonight will show a charter bus dropping off a bunch of tall guys at what will eventually be a full house at Staples Center, marking the first time the Lakers and Magic have played since the NBA Finals in June. But there's something strange about this Orlando team, loser of six of its last eight games, including a 102-87 loss Friday against a horribly depleted Portland team that was without Brandon Roy, Greg Oden and a host of other regulars.

Enough about his tumbling jumpers, his tentacle defense, his towering rebounds, his touch passing. Did you see his teeth? The story of the NBA Finals opener Thursday could be found in Kobe Bryant's mouth. Seriously, did you see his teeth? During the Lakers' 100-75 victory over the Orlando Magic, Bryant openly ground them as he ground his way to 40 points. He visibly clenched them as he fought for eight rebounds and flicked out eight assists. He bared them as he bared his soul.

Once the Orlando Magic players clear their heads of the hellacious hangover that comes with getting bounced from the NBA Finals, the common thought is the No. 1 priority must be to do whatever's necessary to keep free agent Hedo Turkoglu. Think again. The Magic's first order of business during this all-important off-season must be to do whatever's necessary to get rid of point guard Rafer Alston. You heard me.

Seven years after their last championship, five years after a series of humbling losses in Detroit, and 362 days after a futile Finals effort against Boston, the Lakers were back, in a big way. A victory parade will proceed through Los Angeles on Wednesday, the celebration becoming official after the Lakers thumped the Orlando Magic on Sunday, 99-86, to win the NBA Finals, four games to one. Undeniably, it was Kobe Bryant's night.

Jeff Van Gundy knows that Lakers fans will parse his every spoken noun, verb, adjective, pronoun, descriptive phrase, opinion, suggestion. If the score is 12-10 in the first quarter tonight night and Van Gundy says the Lakers are leading the Orlando Magic, 12-10, Lakers fans will search for hidden meaning in his tone. Did he emphasize the 12 or the 10, the word "Lakers" or the word "Magic?" And Lakers fans won't be wrong.

Kids! Welcome to the Dennis Scott Summer Basketball Camp! I'm your counselor, Uncle Mike. As you all know, Dennis Scott is the 28-year-old basketball player for the NBA's Orlando Magic who spoke so enthusiastically to a pack of Virginia children recently. Kids, each and every one of you will receive a complimentary Dennis Scott Summer Camp T-shirt, plus a copy of this videotape featuring Uncle Dennis' speech to the Virginia campers, absolutely free. Let's watch! Lights!

When Kobe Bryant worked out for the Lakers as a high school graduate in 1996, he stunned them with his leaping ability and raw basketball talent that few 17-year-olds had ever possessed. Lakers luminary Jerry West, the team's executive vice president at the time, said it was the greatest workout he had ever witnessed.

Typical Fish. At the end of the most indelible game of his enduring Lakers career, Derek Fisher disappeared. He was swallowed by the long limbs of Lamar Odom, the long embrace of Andrew Bynum, the long hair of Sasha Vujacic. His bald head was hidden in somebody's warmup jacket. His short arms were wrapped in somebody's giant ones.

The young ladies could be 15. On the other hand, they could be 35. They have been riding an elevator in a Houston hotel for nearly a hour. They hit all the buttons, and the elevator stops at all the floors. This does not please the businessmen who have just staggered off the 9:58 p.m. Continental from God-knows-where and who are interested only in a bed, some mini-bar Scotch and Whoever From Sweden is playing on the in-room movie.

Charles Barkley played for three teams (Philadelphia, Phoenix and Houston) over his 16-year career, was an 11-time All-Star, All-Star game most valuable player and league MVP, and averaged 22.1 points and 11.7 rebounds over his career. He covered the NBA Finals for NBA TV and is serving as a guest columnist for the Orlando Sentinel and Los Angeles Times: -- The Orlando Magic had no chance of winning Sunday. Orlando was going to lose Game 5.

Yeah, right, as if these guys are going to miss a chance to let down, and put anyone away on their first try. So, it was no surprise to see the Magic jump on the Lakers in Sunday night's first quarter, scoring 15 of the game's first 21 points en route to. . . . Oh, the Lakers won? Are they great or what?

Kobe Bryant scratched at it until it bled. Derek Fisher clawed at it until it hurt. The rest of them dug and dug until it finally, willfully, wonderfully disappeared. The Lakers' seven-year itch is gone. Awash in relief and redemption, Los Angeles' cornerstone sports franchise is once again champion of the NBA.

During the Game 5 pregame festivities Sunday, there was a montage of the Orlando Magic's playoff run playing on the scoreboard above the Amway Arena court. Included were all of Orlando's moments of triumph and survival on its way to the NBA Finals, set to the backdrop of Van Halen's classic rally track "Right Now." It was a fitting song choice.

Phil Jackson was immersed in a two-month trek that included stops in Bora Bora, New Zealand and Australia, where he caught lobsters and cooked them under the stars with one of his former players, Luc Longley. Never in the early stages of 2005 did he envision returning to the Lakers, who had signed Rudy Tomjanovich to a five-year, $30-million deal as Jackson's successor in the summer of 2004. But Tomjanovich quit abruptly in February 2005, and Jackson returned to the Lakers four months later.

Seven years after their last championship, five years after a series of humbling losses in Detroit, and 362 days after a futile Finals effort against Boston, the Lakers were back, in a big way. A victory parade will proceed through Los Angeles on Wednesday, the celebration becoming official after the Lakers thumped the Orlando Magic on Sunday, 99-86, to win the NBA Finals, four games to one. Undeniably, it was Kobe Bryant's night.

Did you ever notice you can never find a conspiracy when you need one? That Kobe Bryant-LeBron James matchup we didn't get started looking a lot better Thursday night as the Lakers reduced the Orlando Magic to its constituent parts, which it must try to put back together by Sunday. For the record, as every player associated with both teams emphasized, it was one game and this isn't over. It just feels as if it is.

Brian Williams of the Orlando Magic was given neurological and cardiographic examinations after collapsing during a summer league basketball game in Redondo Beach, a Florida cardiologist said Thursday. Williams, a former standout at St. Monica High School in Santa Monica, is expected to be released today from South Bay Hospital of Redondo Beach, according to Curtis Weaver of the Florida Heart Group and a Magic team physician.

The Lakers won. Yippee, hooray for them and all that stuff. Phil now has more rings than Red, like any of us could sleep waiting for this moment, while Jeanie continues searching for her ring, but then that's tweet for another day. Kobe did it without Shaq, because he had Pau. Sasha did it without ever making a shot in the Finals.

You can never predict how physical a playoff series is going to be. After being involved in conference finals matchups that featured lots of physical play and high numbers of hard personal and technical fouls, the Finals have been a lot more about finesse for the Magic and Lakers. While it could be a product of referees being more prudent in blowing the whistles for the Finals, the fouls numbers entering Game 4 seemed to suggest that both teams have avoided the rough stuff this series.