October 7, 1990 |
GWEN, 60, HAS SEEN MORE of her older sister Bette, 63, since moving to California several years ago than she did when they both lived in the same state. "I think it's because absence makes the heart grow fonder," Gwen says. "Bette got married when I was 18 and we never spent much time together until I moved out here. She's been here twice to visit, and we spend two or three weeks together--which is about the most time we've spent together in 40 years. We talk a lot about our mom and dad and about old times.
December 30, 1994 |
Squash that needy inner child. Quit calling yourself an enabler. And don't even mention your co-dependence--unless you want to repel a mate or love interest. No more pop-psychology self-analysis. No more blaming relationship problems on long past trauma-dramas or less-than-perfect parents (relax now, moms). None of these excuses will fly in what one expert calls "Do Something" 1995. "Psychobabble is dead," declares psychologist Pat Hudson, author of "Love Is a Verb," to be published in '95 by W.W. Norton.
May 30, 2013 |
In his Op-Ed article this week on hookup culture in college, Bob Laird links binge drinking and casual sex to sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, confusion, low self-esteem, unhappiness, vomiting, ethical retardation, low grades and emotional inadequacy. "How nice of The Times to include this leftover piece from 1957 today," snarked a reader in the online comments. Fair enough, but Laird is more than out of touch. He also fundamentally misunderstands hookup culture, the relationships that form within it and the real source of the problems arising from some sexual relationships.
April 17, 2011 |
Emily, Alone A Novel Stewart O'Nan Viking: 255 pp., $25.95 Stewart O'Nan's books are not about poverty, life's crises, gross injustice or family drama; in fact, there's very little drama in his works. He has become a spokesperson — in modern fiction — for the regular person, the working person, and now, the elderly. One of the most beautiful, unforgettable scenes in any novel I've ever read occurs in "Last Night at the Lobster," in which O'Nan describes the manager of a mall-style restaurant switching on the lights at the start of a new day, so full of purpose and hopefulness.
April 16, 1989
"Latina Nannies/Anglo Families: The Intimate Experiment," by Mary Jo McConahay (Feb. 19), was insightful and thought provoking. You intelligently analyzed the daily-life concerns of and relationships created by child-care issues. Thank you for improving our understanding of such relationships. IM JUNG KWUON Los Angeles
June 2, 2012 |
In HBO's new show "Girls," creator Lena Dunham conjures up an image of young men so inundated with online porn that they almost unwittingly try to reenact it in their own boudoir escapades. The show is fictional, but Stanford University psychologist Philip Zimbardo believes there's a lot of reality to it. In a new e-book, "The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Struggle and What We Can Do About It," written with Nikita Duncan, Zimbardo theorizes that all those hours spent in front of a screen - not just watching porn but playing video games too - is leaving men in the dust socially, unable to relate to women and unable to function in society.
May 3, 1992
Until men escape the master-slave perspective of male-female relationships, violence against women will continue to be the cancer it is. MIMI MERRILL Ridgecrest
May 26, 2004
A letter writer (May 21) wonders: If same-sex marriage is made legal, what is to prevent persons wanting to engage in polygamous, incestuous or underage marriage from using the "same argument" to ask for legal recognition of those relationships? He then states that no one can answer that question because, he says, there is no answer. There is an answer: They wouldn't be using the same argument. The laws proscribing polygamous or incestuous relationships do not discriminate. No one, straight or gay, may have such relationships recognized.
CALIFORNIA | LOCAL
November 3, 2001
Re "Frequency of Domestic Homicide Falls," Oct. 29: Highlighting the profound advances made to reduce domestic violence over the past few decades is critically important. Sadly, what remains a fact is that over 780,000 women continue to be abused by their partners each year. It is outrageous that women continue to shoulder the responsibility for healthy relationships. While it may appear that divorce and short-term relationships are helping to stem the rate of intimate partner homicides, women are in the greatest danger when they attempt to leave abusive relationships.