May 30, 2013 |
In his Op-Ed article this week on hookup culture in college, Bob Laird links binge drinking and casual sex to sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, confusion, low self-esteem, unhappiness, vomiting, ethical retardation, low grades and emotional inadequacy. "How nice of The Times to include this leftover piece from 1957 today," snarked a reader in the online comments. Fair enough, but Laird is more than out of touch. He also fundamentally misunderstands hookup culture, the relationships that form within it and the real source of the problems arising from some sexual relationships.
October 7, 1990 |
GWEN, 60, HAS SEEN MORE of her older sister Bette, 63, since moving to California several years ago than she did when they both lived in the same state. "I think it's because absence makes the heart grow fonder," Gwen says. "Bette got married when I was 18 and we never spent much time together until I moved out here. She's been here twice to visit, and we spend two or three weeks together--which is about the most time we've spent together in 40 years. We talk a lot about our mom and dad and about old times.
December 30, 1994 |
Squash that needy inner child. Quit calling yourself an enabler. And don't even mention your co-dependence--unless you want to repel a mate or love interest. No more pop-psychology self-analysis. No more blaming relationship problems on long past trauma-dramas or less-than-perfect parents (relax now, moms). None of these excuses will fly in what one expert calls "Do Something" 1995. "Psychobabble is dead," declares psychologist Pat Hudson, author of "Love Is a Verb," to be published in '95 by W.W. Norton.
June 2, 2012 |
In HBO's new show "Girls," creator Lena Dunham conjures up an image of young men so inundated with online porn that they almost unwittingly try to reenact it in their own boudoir escapades. The show is fictional, but Stanford University psychologist Philip Zimbardo believes there's a lot of reality to it. In a new e-book, "The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Struggle and What We Can Do About It," written with Nikita Duncan, Zimbardo theorizes that all those hours spent in front of a screen - not just watching porn but playing video games too - is leaving men in the dust socially, unable to relate to women and unable to function in society.
April 16, 1989
"Latina Nannies/Anglo Families: The Intimate Experiment," by Mary Jo McConahay (Feb. 19), was insightful and thought provoking. You intelligently analyzed the daily-life concerns of and relationships created by child-care issues. Thank you for improving our understanding of such relationships. IM JUNG KWUON Los Angeles
April 16, 2001
Regarding "Fandom's Final Frontier: Homoerotic Literature" (April 3) by Mary McNamara: I want to register an alternative view to the prevailing and now-tired view, advanced by such scholars as Constance Penley, Camille Bacon-Smith and Joanna Russ, that slash fiction allows women to write romances in which the characters are "truly equal" and "must turn to gay male relationships to find this equality." In fact, many slash writers find equal relationships uninteresting to write about and are confident enough in their sexuality and their feminism consciously to explore and play with unequal relationships in their stories, creating power imbalances between such characters as Picard and Q ("Star Trek: The Next Generation")
May 3, 1992
Until men escape the master-slave perspective of male-female relationships, violence against women will continue to be the cancer it is. MIMI MERRILL Ridgecrest
May 26, 2004
A letter writer (May 21) wonders: If same-sex marriage is made legal, what is to prevent persons wanting to engage in polygamous, incestuous or underage marriage from using the "same argument" to ask for legal recognition of those relationships? He then states that no one can answer that question because, he says, there is no answer. There is an answer: They wouldn't be using the same argument. The laws proscribing polygamous or incestuous relationships do not discriminate. No one, straight or gay, may have such relationships recognized.
CALIFORNIA | LOCAL
November 3, 2001
Re "Frequency of Domestic Homicide Falls," Oct. 29: Highlighting the profound advances made to reduce domestic violence over the past few decades is critically important. Sadly, what remains a fact is that over 780,000 women continue to be abused by their partners each year. It is outrageous that women continue to shoulder the responsibility for healthy relationships. While it may appear that divorce and short-term relationships are helping to stem the rate of intimate partner homicides, women are in the greatest danger when they attempt to leave abusive relationships.