Richard Simmons

"ARE YOU UP THERE EATING A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH? I BET YOU'RE DRINKING ANOTHER OF THOSE BEERS!" The shrill accusation streaks across the quiet street like an Exocet missile, detonating a cluster bomb of guilt in my study, the razor-sharp shrapnel devastating my daily minimum requirement of beer nuts, Screaming Yellow Zonkers, saltines heaped with Skippy's, Heath Bar ice cream, Godiva chocolate, double Oreos and chilled bottles of Pilsner Urquel.

My kind of town, Beverly Hills. It's vectored in such a way as to guarantee you get lost, involving a circuitry of duplicate names -- Santa Monica, Little Santa Monica, Mondo Santa Monica. Everybody you meet sounds like Borat, and none of them knows anything, the dimmest people ever. You can stop a man on Rodeo and ask him where Rodeo is, and he will not know. In so many ways, this is an entertaining place, where lanky young women pal around with squat middle-aged men. Saw one the other day, walking around like she owned the joint, showing off her 55-year-old trophy boy. So inappropriate.

Armando Rodezno had been feeling down lately and he was not enthusiastic when his wife suggested they go to see Richard Simmons' exercise show at the Secure Horizons' Wellness Festival on Friday. But by noon, the 70-year-old Buena Park resident was waving his arms to the music along with some 1,200 other seniors. His pelvic rolls in a Gypsy Rose Lee number earned him the title Mr. Sensuous Silver Fox. When Simmons handed Rodezno a $100 bill as a prize, he exclaimed, "This man doesn't want $100.

If you need proof that regular exercise is a prescription for a more youthful body and mind, look no further than the fitness icons from the aerobics-heavy 1980s. Some of the instructors who first burst onto the scene in spandex are out there promoting new fitness DVDs, decades after they started teaching. The Los Angeles Times reviewed the latest group of fitness DVDs created by and for exercisers 40 and up, selecting a few of the more interesting or effective workouts. Who's still got it?

Richard Alan Simmons, 80, a writer and producer from the early days of television, died Nov. 13 at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. The cause of death was not announced, but he had been in failing health for some time. Simmons was best-known for his Emmy-nominated teleplay "The Price of Tomatoes," which ran on actor Dick Powell's dramatic anthology series in the early 1960s. Simmons also received an Emmy nomination for his work on "Columbo" in 1978.

The doorbell rings at the ersatz American Colonial in the Hollywood Hills, the door opens, and there's a very tanned Richard Simmons in red tank top and red-striped exercise shorts. "Hellllllloooooooooooo," he coos, smiling and striking that Richard Simmons pose the stand-up comics love to spoof. "Hello, Mr. Simmons." "I'm Richard, " he says, patting my shoulder. I brace for what's next.

'Last night, I ate a whole bag of Ruffles!' yells a large lady from the back of the Cole Porter Lounge, the gaudy Las Vegas-style cabaret aboard the cruise ship Elation. "And a family-sized Stouffer's macaroni and cheese!" "Ohhh!" goes the empathetic audience. Richard Simmons, unmistakable against the stage's gold lame backdrop in his skimpy striped shorts, glittery tank top and Little Orphan Annie hair, spurs them on. "Family sized! How many in your family?"

I was disappointed to the point of being disgusted at the commentary of Richard Simmons and Vicki Lawrence Schultz during coverage of Pasadena's Doo-Dah Parade. Where I come from, if a person doesn't have anything good to say, he should keep his yap shut. James A. Brackley, Fountain Valley

Flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons was cited by authorities for allegedly slapping a man in an airport who was poking fun at his exercise videos, police said Thursday. Simmons, 55, known for his tank tops and outrageous manner, was ticketed for misdemeanor assault after allegedly striking the man across the face while in line at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport on Wednesday night, police said.

Richard Alan Simmons, 80, a writer and producer from the early days of television, died Nov. 13 at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. The cause of death was not announced, but he had been in failing health for some time. Simmons was best-known for his Emmy-nominated teleplay "The Price of Tomatoes," which ran on actor Dick Powell's dramatic anthology series in the early 1960s. Simmons also received an Emmy nomination for his work on "Columbo" in 1978.

Flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons was cited by authorities for allegedly slapping a man in an airport who was poking fun at his exercise videos, police said Thursday. Simmons, 55, known for his tank tops and outrageous manner, was ticketed for misdemeanor assault after allegedly striking the man across the face while in line at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport on Wednesday night, police said.

The "California Raisins" danced off the advertising stage six years ago as a marketing phenomenon par excellence--their sassy television ads so popular that raisin character spinoffs sold almost as well as the dried fruit they promoted. But six years after the soulful, animated characters left TV, raisin sales are lagging so badly that the campaign is coming back. Sort of.

'Last night, I ate a whole bag of Ruffles!' yells a large lady from the back of the Cole Porter Lounge, the gaudy Las Vegas-style cabaret aboard the cruise ship Elation. "And a family-sized Stouffer's macaroni and cheese!" "Ohhh!" goes the empathetic audience. Richard Simmons, unmistakable against the stage's gold lame backdrop in his skimpy striped shorts, glittery tank top and Little Orphan Annie hair, spurs them on. "Family sized! How many in your family?"

TELEVISION Survey Says . . . The first-year series "Any Day Now" and "Sports Night" ranked highest among dramas and comedies in the first survey of the new season taken by Viewers for Quality Television. The former is a Lifetime cable drama about the friendship of two women; the latter is an ABC comedy set behind the scenes of a cable TV sports show. Other new programs that fared well in the survey are "Felicity" (WB), "Cupid" (ABC) and "Will & Grace" (NBC).

In TV Times (Jan. 1-7), Howard Rosenberg listed Richard Simmons under "Irritating People" and questioned his sincerity about dealing with overweight people. Because Mr. Simmons was once overweight himself, which he overcame through exercise and nutritious nonfat food, he is well-qualified to help others. His breezy, sympathetic personality, along with a zany sense of humor, has made him a recognized celebrity. I think Mr. Rosenberg's criticism was insulting and rude. Bobbie North, Los Angeles

In TV Times (Jan. 1-7), Howard Rosenberg listed Richard Simmons under "Irritating People" and questioned his sincerity about dealing with overweight people. Because Mr. Simmons was once overweight himself, which he overcame through exercise and nutritious nonfat food, he is well-qualified to help others. His breezy, sympathetic personality, along with a zany sense of humor, has made him a recognized celebrity. I think Mr. Rosenberg's criticism was insulting and rude. Bobbie North, Los Angeles

My kind of town, Beverly Hills. It's vectored in such a way as to guarantee you get lost, involving a circuitry of duplicate names -- Santa Monica, Little Santa Monica, Mondo Santa Monica. Everybody you meet sounds like Borat, and none of them knows anything, the dimmest people ever. You can stop a man on Rodeo and ask him where Rodeo is, and he will not know. In so many ways, this is an entertaining place, where lanky young women pal around with squat middle-aged men. Saw one the other day, walking around like she owned the joint, showing off her 55-year-old trophy boy. So inappropriate.

Armando Rodezno had been feeling down lately and he was not enthusiastic when his wife suggested they go to see Richard Simmons' exercise show at the Secure Horizons' Wellness Festival on Friday. But by noon, the 70-year-old Buena Park resident was waving his arms to the music along with some 1,200 other seniors. His pelvic rolls in a Gypsy Rose Lee number earned him the title Mr. Sensuous Silver Fox. When Simmons handed Rodezno a $100 bill as a prize, he exclaimed, "This man doesn't want $100.

The door opens at the ersatz American Colonial in the Hollywood Hills, and there stands a very tanned Richard Simmons in red tank top and red-striped exercise shorts. "Hellllllloooooooooooo," he coos, smiling and striking that Richard Simmons pose the stand-up comics love to spoof. "Hello, Mr. Simmons." "I'm Richard, " he says, patting my shoulder. I brace for what's next.