Romance

Oysters, figs, asparagus, camel's milk and blood from a bull's testes--these are some of the aphrodisiacs described by Diane Ackerman in "A Natural History of Love" (Random House). To this list I must add one thing: travel. While I wouldn't say that the possibility of meeting someone has motivated my wanderings, it's always floated in the back of my mind, like moonlight on the Taj Mahal.

You've read about the problems of being a woman in a man's world. Maybe even about the problems of being a man in a woman's world. But have you ever thought how tough it might be being a woman who is really a man in a woman's world? Melissa Hepburne here, romance novelist. For those of you who may not know about romances, they're those paperbacks you see crowding book racks in supermarkets. The covers almost always portray a breathless young beauty in a steamy embrace with a handsome stud.

Actress-director Dyan Cannon recalls in her memoir, "Dear Cary: My Life With Cary Grant," that she and Grant were over the moon with joy at the birth of their daughter, Jennifer, in February 1966. But when she brought the baby home, Cannon realized that her beloved Yorkie, Bangs, was nowhere to be found. Grant matter-of-factly told her that he had given Bangs away. "Infants and dogs aren't a good mix, Dyan," she quotes him as saying. "Animals can experience extreme jealousy around newborns.

Christian romance publishers are particular about how their novels are written. The basic requirements: a clear Christian message expressed through the lives of the characters and a lack of explicit sex. Heartsong Presents, the inspirational book line of Barbour and Co. publishers, gives aspiring writers of Christian romance a long list of dos and don'ts.

Julio Iglesias' niche in pop music's sexual bazaar is a refined little spot full of old world charm, where the blatancy of blaring Boltonesque belters and torso-baring exhibitionists can't intrude. Iglesias' place is indeed a church of high romance, a grotto for sweet sighs and a courtly approach to the old let's-get-it-on. On Thursday, Iglesias opened a four-show engagement at the Orange County Performing Arts Center in Costa Mesa that runs through Sunday.

Gail Hottenroth and Greg Castro fell in love about a year ago, their romance hatched over more than six years of toiling collaboratively on Speedo products in Los Angeles, pulling 12-hour days, traveling and eating lunch together and meeting crunch deadlines. They flirted, joked and cajoled, nothing more. But when Castro, a merchandising specialist, announced his departure from Speedo more than a year ago, Hottenroth, a product designer, asked him to take her with him.

Having three romantic comedies out at the same time--"Singles," "Honeymoon in Vegas" and "Husbands and Wives"--only points up once again how rarely romance, grand or lowly, takes center stage anymore. Where are the films that deliver the kind of sexy shoptalk and entrancement that used to bring audiences together in a shared swoon? Have we become so cynically self-conscious that we can no longer accept the grand romantic gesture without mockery, or at least irony?

Sometimes, in a sort of Romeo and Juliet turnabout, there is sabotage by the children. Sometimes there is a perception of disapproval on the part of friends and relations or even society as a whole. Sometimes there is deep shame at the very thought. But whatever it is, by and large, lovers way past the age of consent--say, after 75 or thereabouts--can give a new meaning to the expression "star-crossed."

Poor Alex Rogo. His marriage is about to collapse, and things are no better at UniCo, where Alex is division manager. Julie, his wife, wants more time from Alex. His superiors want increased productivity. His second-grade daughter is getting straight A's. Alex, it seems, is flunking out. This is a new genre of romance novel, "manufacturing romance," fiction that comes from the literary land of heavy passions, mythic heroes and monumental conquests. This is "The Goal."

Of course we're sad about the serial arrests of actor Robert Downey Jr. on drug-related charges, including his most recent one in a Culver City alley. We would never minimize the seriousness of addiction. But when we heard the news of his latest trouble, a little girl's voice inside of us peeped: What about Ally?